You Take The Good, You Take The Bad, You Take Them Both And There You Have A Fireplace And Pneumonia

posted by on 02/05/2014 | 13,732 comments (leave one of your own)

I picked up the phone last week and put in one more call to my first choice in fireplace repair (it’s run by a retired fireman, I mean really) and an actual human answered the phone and I was able to recount the sad, downtrodden tale of my busted fireplace. It actually isn’t that downtrodden, long story short: shit doesn’t work and hasn’t worked for two years. I really needed the appointment maker lady to know just how incredibly serious I was in wanting to breathe life into my pathetic fireplace. She let me know that they are incredibly busy right now (it’s zero degrees, so yeah), but! I was able to make an appointment due to a cancelation and the fireplace tech dropped by the house yesterday.

He brought along his oddly quiet, extremely large fireplace vacuum. I snapped one photo on the dl while he went back to his truck to get some tools, I didn’t want to be a weirdo and frighten him away. Let’s pretend that the dumb bookcase situation isn’t happening on the left side of the fireplace and that you can’t see the printer cord hanging down under the desk on the right side of the fireplace. That would also be Troy home from school sick on the couch, this becomes important in a moment.


The tech removed the logs (I didn’t even know they came out), cleaned the fireplace completely, and had the pilot light on in about seven minutes. Apparently there was “air in the gas line” and some valve something or other that was “slightly clogged” (I typed slightly impaired but that’s not right) and check it: MY FIREPLACE WORKS.


He stacked everything back in nicely and added new sand and embers and only charged me the base price for a cleaning which was $129. I think he knew that the main problem was that I didn’t know how to light the fireplace correctly (I didn’t actually, our last one turned on with a simple switch) and decided it would be too easy to take advantage of my dipshitness.

Back to sick Troy. I took him to his doctor’s appointment shortly after the fireplace magician left. The doctor’s office had an opening for me to bring him in earlier in the day, but I informed them that I already had someone coming out for important fireplace repair because PRIORITIES. We came home after going from the doctor’s office to another office for his chest x-rays and waited and watched the weather get shittier and shittier. The doctor called with the results. As it turns out, Troy’s cough was walking pneumonia and I was overcome with guilt as I drove away from the house in negative cold weather on icy roads to pick up his medicine.


And then I came home and sat in front of my working fireplace and got over it.


He’s on meds and his fever is gone and his coughing is better and he said the “inside fire is the Love Fireplace” so imma run with it. Forgiveness never felt so warm.

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