Archive for September, 2012

So Spread The Word: Peace And Chicken

posted by on 09/28/2012

Earlier this week, I was in the kitchen making chicken pot pie.  I had a few chicken breasts that were defrosting on a plate and Troy walked up and tried to taste the uncooked chicken salmonella surprise.

Me: AGH, don’t touch that, it’s raw!

Troy: Why?  What’s raw mean?

Me: It means it hasn’t been cooked yet and it can make you very sick, you have to wait until it’s cooked and then it’s delicious!

Troy: OK, I will wait for delicious chicken.

After no one contracted e coli, Troy and I went to the grocery store. While we were checking out, I was holding Troy because he likes to watch the conveyor belt (weirdo) and the grandmother-type cashier lady was making small talk with him.

Cashier: Ooh, are these groceries for your dinner? Everything looks yummy!

Troy: My mom makes us chicken dinner and it is mostly rotten.

Me: Uh, he means raw, not rotten…

Cashier: (staring and blinking at me)

Me: *dies*




No Muffins For Moms Or Hit The Bricks, We Are All Out Of Muffins.

posted by on 09/25/2012

I got up this morning at 6:45 to get ready to attend Muffins For Moms at Zoe’s school. I stayed up waaay to late on the computer, I got sucked down the virtual rabbit hole shopping for new boots that I spent too much money on and I will probably ship them back due to the guilt. Or the fact that I ordered a size 10 and I’m pretty sure I’m going to need an 11.

I managed to get everyone ready and out the door to make an appearance at the school. On the way there, I asked Zoe if they perhaps would have anything else to eat besides muffins and she looked at me and slowly said, “Mom, there’s a reason it’s called Muffins For Moms and not breakfast“.

And then picture the hardest, fiercest eye roll you can imagine.

Which is why it should be called Bloody Marys For Moms.

We rolled up and did a blood sugar check and I dosed Zoe for 60 carbs in the truck.  I figured we would go in, wait in line for the carb-fest muffins, and that would take about ten minutes, plenty of time for her insulin to kick in.

Muffin For Moms curveball=They ran out of godforsaken muffins while we were standing in line.

This is the part where the other moms were all, “Oh well” and I was all, “Oh shit” because Zoe was the only kid with six units of insulin on board and no muffins.

I mean, of course I had carbs in my bag, I always have carbs, but a dried fruit strip, granola bar, a packet of hazelnut peanut butter, and a glucose drink do not make for a tasty breakfast.

We tore out of there just as the bell was ringing and went to the closest place with carbs, not my first choice but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do especially when your kid is saying she feels light headed.

muffin substitutes

McMuffins and Hashbrowns For Kids, Mom Will Just Have Coffee, KTHX.