Archive for August, 2011

Looking Out My Back Door

posted by on 08/26/2011

That’s two acres.  We’re going to need a riding lawn mower tractor.  Stat.



Someone Should Have Warned Me.

posted by on 08/25/2011

I’ve recently noticed that Jeff has been squinting. Like a lot. If we are watching TV, he’s squinting his face off to the point of appearing asleep.

I called him out on that shit because I’m his wife and that’s what wives do. He mentioned that he was having a hard time seeing, oh you know, FAR AWAY.

Specifically when he was driving.

Because he just drives for a living. No big deal, Jeff. It’s not like we need to eat or wear clothes or have electricity.

We (this means me) made him an appointment with my eye doctor. He failed miserably and received a prize.

In the form of glasses.

I’m going to be completely honest with you, this news was difficult.  For me.  Jeff and I have been together since he was in his early twenties and I happen to be older than he is. For god’s sake, his nickname at work is Young Gun, not Old Blind Ass.

Someone should have warned me he was going to get old on me.  I mean, what’s next?  A hip replacement?  Triple Bypass?

Zoe was with us and as he tried on frames, she gave them thumbs up or thumbs down and then proceeded to select the pair that made him “look most hot”. She also followed that up with, “Not that I think you are hot, GOD NO, but I just want you to still be hot for moms and stuff”.

8 eyes

I’m going to look at it this way: at least they aren’t bifocals.

Stay hot, Jeff. You know, for the moms. And stuff.