Happy Barfly To Me. And My Dumb Sister. But Mostly To Me.

posted by on 07/26/2011 | 4,846 comments (leave one of your own)

Today I turn 35.  So does my twin sister, but this is my blog.  I was quite content with 34 and this is kind of my scary age.  So happy barfly (my computer changes BARFDAY to BARFLY, I’m leaving it) to me and my whore pit viper of a sister who likes to steal my thunder and just had to be born on the same day.

Please enjoy the following fun facts, I’m so cutting edge that I flip that shizz and give you the gifts.  You’re welcome.

1.  My twin sister actually has better hair than I do (I opened with this since I called her a whore pit viper).

2.  My favorite color is turquoise.

3.  I wear a size 10 shoe.

4.  I have worn a size 10 shoe since fourth grade and my nickname was “Capital L” due to the fact that I was skinny and tall and wore white reeboks.

5.  I had no asian friends until college.

6.  I was a cocktail waitress during college for three years.

7.  Three inch heels were part of the uniform.

8.  We were encouraged to drink with the customers and I had a regular that owned his own helicopter.  He invited the entire staff to his house on New Year’s 1997 and became enraged when someone accidentally opened a $700 bottle of french champagne that was in the lettuce drawer of his refrigerator.

9.  My children are not allowed to work in the restaurant business.

10. I lied at the age of 21 to get my first bartending job.

11. This might mean my whole career has been a sham.

12. I am older than my sister by five minutes.

13. Now that I am in my 30’s, I have to shave my elbows.

14. I am afraid of the dark.

15. Zoe’s diabetes has made me a better mother.

16. I will never, ever watch Steel Magnolias ever again.

17. I didn’t know how to hold a baby or change a diaper when Zoe was born.

18. My mother came and stayed with me for six weeks when I had Zoe.  See #17.

19. When I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I did not have an answer.

20. I still don’t.

21. I called my dad’s cell phone repeatedly after he died just to hear his voice.

22. Parking garages can make me hyperventilate.

23. The same goes for stopping under a bridge in traffic.

24. I think I would be a kick ass gay man.

25. Preferably asian.

26. I had food poisoning from a hamburger when I was 17 and was violently ill.

27. I was a vegetarian for many years afterwards and to this day I refuse to eat ground beef.

28. When I was pregnant with Troy, I cut out a photo of an adorable asian baby with black hair and taped it to the refrigerator as part of my visualization process towards having a successful birth because I just *knew* that Jeff’s asian genes would come through.

29. During Troy’s birth my midwife said she could see his head and that he had “red hair” and I promptly told her to shut up.

30. I would like one more child.

31. If I concentrate super hard, I can remember exactly what it sounded like when I had an episiotomy and the scissors cut through my crotch.

32. I research adoption on a regular basis.

33. I would like to learn to sew.

34. And have an Etsy shop.

35. When we were born, our parents could only afford one car seat despite having TWINS.  In the following photo, they documented their favorite child traveling safely in the car.  That’s my sister on the left.

January 77

P.S. Happy Barfly to my sister, I’m sorry mom and dad didn’t love you as much.

  • kumpulan permainan judi

    I am very interested when reading your article. Oh yes, I also made an article, please visit.

  • supplies near me

    Saved as a favorite, I really like your website!

  • Read it on

    Hey there! I simply wish to offer you a big thumbs up for the excellent information you have got here on this post. I’ll be returning to your website for more soon

  • trailer maintenance near me

    Great information. Lucky me I discovered your website by chance (stumbleupon). I have saved as a favorite for later!

  • lipo cavitation machine

    When I originally commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I get 4 emails with the exact same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service? Cheers!|

  • 울산출장

    Hi, I do believe this is a great website. I stumbledupon it 😉 I am going to return yet again since I bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide other people.

  • JCT

    Looking forward to reading more. Great post.Really thank you! Really Great.

  • selling merchant services tips

    Attractive element of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to say that I get actually loved account your blog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing for your feeds or even I fulfillment you get entry to constantly quickly.|

  • office furniture assemblers

    Greetings from Idaho! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out your site on my iphone during lunch break. I love the knowledge you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m shocked at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, superb blog!

  • Mercedes Benz Sprinter Authorized Repair Shop

    bookmarked!!, I really like your blog!

  • Camper Trailer Repair Near Me

    Right here is the perfect webpage for anybody who wishes to understand this topic. You understand so much its almost tough to argue with you (not that I actually will need toÖHaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a topic that has been discussed for ages. Great stuff, just great!

  • geico store near me

    Excellent blog post. I certainly love this website. Keep writing!

  • 먹튀 검증

    It’s a envious article. It’s very awesome and new. Who are you to write that special article?

  • buy tadalis

    modula tadalafil side effects for tadalafil tadalafil india

  • Continue Reading

    I got what you intend, thanks for putting up. Woh I am glad to find this website through google

  • situs judi slot online

    Appreciate you sharing, great post.Really thank you! Cool.

  • webpage

    Hi, Neat post. There is an issue with your site
    in web explorer, culd tesst this? IE still is
    the masrketplace chief annd a big element of
    other people will omit yoir fantastic writing ddue
    to tthis problem.

  • RV Generator Riverside

    Itís hard to find knowledgeable people in this particular topic, however, you sound like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks

  • Repair 2005 Sprinter Ecm

    After going over a number of the blog articles on your web page, I seriously like your technique of writing a blog. I saved it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back soon. Please visit my website as well and tell me your opinion.

  • Messianic Worship Music

    There’s definately a lot to find out about this subject. I really like all the points you made.

  • ghosting

    Wow, great article post. Want more.

  • Gay porn

    Just want to say your article is as surprising. The clearness in your put up is simply spectacular and i can assume you are knowledgeable on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed to stay updated with impending post. Thank you one million and please continue the gratifying work.

  • Baltimore final mile delivery

    One important issue is that if you are searching for a education loan you may find that you will want a cosigner. There are many scenarios where this is correct because you may find that you do not employ a past credit standing so the loan provider will require that you’ve someone cosign the financing for you. Thanks for your post.

  • amoxilotc.com

    http://amoxilotc.com amoxiclav

  • Roy Bunyon

    cialis pharmacy uk daily cialis review tadalafil 5mg generic

  • w88

    I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I do not know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!|

  • 양산출장

    I blog often and I truly thank you for your content. This great article has truly peaked my interest. I will book mark your website and keep checking for new information about once a week. I subscribed to your Feed too.

  • Connie Hensley

    viagra price viagra logo canada viagra cost

  • gclub

    Howdy! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains. If you know of any please share. Kudos!

  • at&t near me

    Very good article. I definitely love this site. Keep it up!

  • promoter box

    Thanks again for the article.Really looking forward to read more.

  • 대구출장

    An intriguing discussion is worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you need to write more on this issue, it may not be a taboo matter but generally folks don’t talk about these issues. To the next! Kind regards!!

  • Lee Vazquez

    cialis soft generic tadalafil generic india 20mg cialis daily

  • 전주 출장안마

    An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a colleague who was doing a little homework on this. And he actually ordered me lunch because I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending time to talk about this topic here on your internet site.

  • food trucks near me

    Itís hard to come by knowledgeable people on this subject, however, you seem like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks

  • haircuts near me

    Great blog you have here.. Itís difficult to find high-quality writing like yours nowadays. I truly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!

  • w88

    It’s fantastic that you are getting ideas from this piece of writing as well as from our dialogue made at this time.|

  • pedicure near me

    I’d like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this website. I am hoping to see the same high-grade content by you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my very own website now 😉

  • gabenhim.com

    https://gabenhim.com/ gabapentin 600 mg tablet price

  • Phyllis Lopez

    sildenafil cost uk substitute for viagra sildenafil 100mg australia

  • 출장안마

    Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this article and the rest of the website is extremely good.

  • 전주출장안마

    I blog quite often and I truly thank you for your content. The article has truly peaked my interest. I will bookmark your blog and keep checking for new information about once per week. I subscribed to your RSS feed as well.

  • บาคาร่าจีคลับ

    I’m impressed, I need to say. Actually hardly ever do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you have hit the nail on the head. Your idea is outstanding; the difficulty is something that not enough persons are talking intelligently about. I am very blissful that I stumbled throughout this in my search for one thing regarding this.

  • guitar center near me

    An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you need to write more about this issue, it might not be a taboo matter but generally people do not discuss these issues. To the next! Best wishes!!

  • read for know more

    Keep this going please, great job

    leave a comment
    Your email is never shared.
    Required fields are marked *