Archive for August, 2010

Anne Geddes Probably Does Not Yell About Diarrhea.

posted by on 08/26/2010

Right now in Colorado, there are wild flowers everywhere, specifically black-eyed susans. At least that’s what google told me and I believe every thing that google tells me because google does not lie. Since I’m arty and crap, I told Zoe to get in the car because we were going to go make photographs.

And by make photographs, I mean climb through a barbed wire fence to a field that has eleventy billion acres and might belong to my neighbor and is FILLED with gorgeous yellow flowers and frolic thoughtfully just before sunset while I click click click away. This field is home to cows, it doesn’t even have a regular person house on it, just a ratty old barn. However, when I told Zoe to climb through the fence, she proceeded to lecture me on trespassing and told me we will probably get arrested or we could even get a ticket and I was all, “The sun is SETTING, it won’t go on your record”.
She refused, so we got back into the truck and found some yellow flowers on the legal side of the fence.
I'm totally allergic.
By the time I convinced her there were no snakes/mice/bears in the grass, the sun was almost gone and so was my patience. Please know she was wearing jeans and boots under the dress because I wasn’t 100% certain there weren’t snakes/mice/bears in the grass. Also, if you happened to drive near my house yesterday and saw us on the side of the road, I was yelling, “Don’t look like you have diarrhea!” because I have pretty advanced photographer skills and she wouldn’t smile. Anne Geddes is onto something by just stuffing newborn babies in flower pots because they don’t talk back.
This will not be the last you hear about the yellow flowers. I’m just getting started. Apologies in advance.

I Made You A Special Vacation Movie And Now I Need New Furniture.

posted by on 08/24/2010

I know exposing your eyeballs to my vacation slideshow is the equivalent of inviting you over to sit on my sofa covered in plastic to hear all about the Grand Canyon while my cat crawls all over you and puts his butt in your face and I chain smoke (Hi Aunt Margie), but I think you’re down. At least you get to view this from the comfort of your own home or office. Please know I don’t have plastic on my sofas, just $90 worth of pillows from Etsy. I don’t have cats nor do I chain smoke, but Troy did stand on my ottoman and pee yesterday while I was working my movie magic, so there’s that.

This little movie took me three years to put together, so I hope you watch it. I learned two things while making it. 1. If you hold your sick toddler for the majority of your vacation, your photographs will indeed look like you were holding a sick toddler and 2. My kids will actually leave me alone long enough to make a movie on the computer if you let them watch 54 episodes of SpongeBob and eat Lucky Charms directly out of the box.

Song by Dan Head: You’re So Cool