I was SO sick last week, like stay in bed all day kind of sick, and it sucked because I had/have a gazillion things to do. I felt so bad that I think I let the kids eat cereal and Pop-Tarts with a side of vitamins for dinner a few nights in a row. I need a redo where I stay in bed all day reading People and Martha Stewart Living, eating salt and vinegar chips, and drinking Pinot, Grigio or Noir, I’m not picky. Yes, that is how I like to spend my free time, don’t hate the player.
I had a fever and chills, a stab you in the face mind blowing sinus headache, couldn’t breathe out of my nose, my throat felt like I swallowed knives, and my lungs were giving out on me.
And to top it all off, my godforsaken printer WOULD NOT PRINT.
Why is it that any time I need to print something super important, you know, like an entire SHOW, I’m either out of ink or my printer just decides to die on me?
I even went to the office supply store BEFORE my ink levels were 0%. I acted responsibly as a printer-owning respectable adult and replaced the printer cartridges in preparation for my big printing extravaganza.
I hit print on my 39 page-front and back-document that I was going to use to read in front of a theatre full of people (god willing) and it printed light gray. Like this: ARE YOU KIDDING ME, HAHA SCREW YOU, ZAKARY.
I took the black cartridge back to the office supply and traded it out and same. I then followed the 19 troubleshooting steps recommended online and it took me almost THREE hours, same.
After spending 73 minutes on the phone with my printer’s “tech support” and detailing exactly what the problem was, it was finally determined that my printer’s printhead was defective. I then had to send my receipt over to verify that it was indeed under warranty, which it was, by ONE day. One!
Except I needed to print the contract for the show’s videographer like two days ago and OH NO YOU WON’T, HAHA.
I had probably cried at least four times at this point because I felt so flipping sick and terrible and WHY CAN’T I PRINT IT WAS WORKING FINE and I spent $68 on ink for no reason, so Jeff drove me to the store and made me buy a new printer because GOD.
He was actually very nice about it and tried to get me to buy a super expensive laser something or other. Looking back on it, he was probably very worried that I was having a nervous breakdown and he was just trying to bring me back from the edge.
After I loaded all the software for the new printer and got it set up, I was back in business. The new printer and I made a hell of a team, a pretty redneck team because I put the new printer on top of the broken printer and never looked back.
And then the replacement printer showed up sooner than expected because tech support overnighted it to the crazy lady.
Attention Denver: Please, please please join us for the 1st annual Listen To Your Mother show at The Elaine Wolf Theatre this Tuesday 5/7 at 7pm. Ticket info here.