How To Have A Freak Out In Five Easy Steps
1. Go for a hike, perpetually minding your own buisness.
2. Notice something lying about twelve feet off of the trail that looks like it is of the human skeletal variety.
3. Debate internally about whether you need to be involved and/or if the Witness Protection Program takes requests (I’m thinking somewhere tropical) while you work up the courage for like five minutes to walk up to said discovery.
4. Die forty times because the foot bone is decidedly not connected to the leg bone.
5. Realize that shit is straight up plastic and breathe a sigh of relief that you did not hike all up on a legit crime scene.
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