Archive for December, 2013

I’m A Human, But I Was Raised By Elves

posted by on 12/19/2013

Oh hey. Christmas is in like six days and there are two presents under the tree: one is for my sister the Whore Pit Viper that I jammed in a gift bag and the other one is for me wrapped beautifully via Nordstrom’s because J paid the $5 gift wrapping fee that I always scoff at.

I wonder if I can take the kids’ presents to Nordstrom’s and have them wrap them up. Send helper elves.

Correction: Send helper elves that can cut in a straight line and use the tape dispenser.

The best craft ever.


Tomato Basil Parmesan Soup

posted by on 12/17/2013

December is here and baby, it’s cold outside.


This means we eat soup, lots and lots of soup.

I made Tomato Basil Parmeson Soup recently and it was delicious. The kids ate it too, this means it was a total success.


Tomato Basil Parmesan Soup


28 ounces diced tomatoes, with juice
1 cup diced celery
1 cup diced carrots
1 cup diced onions
1 tsp dried oregano
2 tsp dried basil
1 bay leaf
4 cups veggie broth (or chicken or hell, use water)
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup flour (you can also use cornstarch)
1 cup Parmesan cheese
2 cups half and half
1/4 cup fresh basil
1 cup Parmesan cheese
salt and pepper to taste


1. In a large pot with a lid, saute celery, carrots, onions, in a TB of butter on low for about five minutes stirring frequently until the veggies are soft. Add tomatoes, oregano, dried basil, bay leaf, and broth.

2. Bring to a boil and then lower heat and simmer for 20-25 minutes. Except I forgot about it and simmered it for like 45 minutes and it was ok. Remove the bay leaf from the soup.

3. While the soup is simmering, melt remaining butter in a small pan and whisk in flour. Whisk constantly about five minutes. Slowly stir in one ladle full of hot soup. Add a few more ladles of soup and whisk until smooth. Add mixture into your large soup pot and stir in the half and half and about 3/4 cup of the parmesan cheese. Before I added the cheese, I used a stick blender and blended about half of my soup for a smoother consistency. Totally optional. Season soup with salt and pepper to taste.

4. Serve soup and top with fresh basil and the remaining fresh parmesan cheese.

Team Soup 4 Life.