Me And Queen Latifah And My Favorite Dress Of All Time

posted by on 08/05/2013 | 221 comments (leave one of your own)

It has taken me a week to get this post up because 1. my husband was on vacation last week and we had all the family time and 2. my brain was still processing the fact that this actually happened in real life.

(Also, thank you for your kind words and emails regarding the anniversary of my dad’s passing. You guys really are the best.)

I imagine that you are probably tired of hearing about it, but stay with me because look who showed up to the Voices Of The Year keynote to emcee, Queen Latifah.

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I mean, seriously. She is gorgeous and has a talk show coming out September 16th. I think it is going to be money, you guys.

My mother and my children were in the first row. Before the show started, I gave Zoe and my mother my camera, set it to Auto, and told them to go for it. Let the record show that they took approximately 94 photos of Queen Latifah and 11 of me.

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I was the third speaker, much better than being first or actually last for that matter. I read in the Humor category and I was terrified, I mean absolutely and utterly terrified, that no one (except my mother) would laugh. I’m going to be straight with you here: I do not think I am funny. Weird? Yes. Funny? No.

While I was reading, the audience offered their support in the form of laughter and it made my poison ivy debacle a distant memory, except when I was on stage retelling it.

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Let’s talk about what’s really important, my dress. As you can see from this photo that mainly focuses on Queen Latifah, I was able to find a lovely dress in my favorite color.

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I had clearance from my husband to spend whatever amount necessary on any dress from any store because it was the weekend before the conference and I still had nothing to wear and he knew it was about to escalate to Dress Con 50 Freak Out up in this mother. I went everywhere, you guys. I tried on dresses with reckless abandon. Oh, this dress is $278? Let me try it on.

And then promptly take it off because there is no way in hell I can spend $278 on a dress. Plus it was much too short.

I found my dress at JCP and it was on sale for $49. Hand to Jesus, Queen Latifah looked at me and said, “Oh girl, I need that dress, that is CUTE!” and then I needed to go lie down because how is this my life.

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Don’t think this is the last you are going to hear about this, there is going to be video of my reading and you know I’m going to make you watch it.

The best part of the entire night besides Queen Latifah and the laughing and the dress and one of the most amazing things to ever happen to me ever?

My kids were there to see it all.

Zoe + Mom + Troy

(And if I get poison ivy ever again, it will be much too soon, DAMN.)

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