Archive for July, 2013

Chicago Style Pump-date

posted by on 07/25/2013

The kids and my mother accompanied me to Chicago. This is because I had a lovely version of this trip in my head of spending a nice time away from home with them, but in reality it means Zoe and Troy argue over the TV and who gets to sleep in the bed by the window while I try to send work emails.

They are also ticked because I won’t let them ravage the minibar. “The Snickers is only $6, I KNOW you have $6…” is their invalid argument. When I told them they could eat all the $6 Snickers they wanted to when they were grown and had jobs, Zoe said, “Can you just loan me $6 now?”

We were hoping that Zoe would have been given the green light on her insulin pump and in all honesty, I was worried about leaving her for 5 days if she was hooked up.


We are still waiting to attend our second training class, so that means all her pump supplies are living on my dining room table.


We had to keep an insulin to carb log for three days and turn it in to the dietician at the diabetes center. And wait. She actually called me Monday to go over the data, the data that consisted of a 365 glucose reading because Zoe ate handfuls of Jelly Belly jellybeans at a BBQ on the down low. The meter never lies and then your mother has to explain to the dietician that readings like that hardly ever happen
and you are usually great about covering your carbs while the dietician probably dozes off at her desk.

After she gave us a new dosing recommendation of 1 unit of Humalog per every 15 grams of carbs, she gave us the go ahead to schedule our second training session. I am waiting to her back about the date and time of the class, but I heard from our Medtronic specialist that it could be September because they are only doing one saline hookup class a month for children at our center and everyone is trying to get the kids hooked up before school starts.

So it looks like the pump supplies will live on the dining table for a bit longer.

Zoe requested Gino’s East Chicago style deep dish pizza for dinner last night and pizza is a sneaky carb loaded bitch that usually spikes her blood sugar to the moon. After a hour wait for a table and another hour wait for the pizza, her blood sugar was an 86. We straight up guessed on the dosing because 86 + salad + 1 slice of deep dish + two toasted raviolis + walking back to the hotel + swimming = HELL IF I KNOW.


And when she finally checked back at the room?


It’s the little things, man. We beat deep dish. Take that, jellybeans.


Voice Of The Year + Eye Bags For Life

posted by on 07/23/2013

I am headed to Chicago tomorrow for this work thing and of course I wait until the absolute last minute to find something to wear. I worked until three in the morning on Sunday so I could knock off early and shop yesterday.

Normally I would just pack a big pile of whatever with Converse and call it good, but this happened.


I figured I was selected to read a post in front of thousands of people at the keynote this year because I straight chickened out of reading in my own Listen To Your Mother show. Speaking karma, it’s a thing.

Friday, the day I have to mortify myself in front of a massive amount of people, also happens to be my 37th birthday. THREE SEVEN.

So, yesterday I went to stores and took whatever was in my size in a color that I liked into the dressing rooms and GOD I HATE SHOPPING and someone explain this dress to me.


Please note the eye bags are what happens when I stay up until 3 a.m. and I bought zero of the dresses pictured here. The striped number hanging on the door made me look like a barn.

And you’re welcome for the photo, so much hotness.