Ride Or Die. Hard.
I would say that Jeff and I have a pretty agreeable marriage, meaning we agree on most things that married people must reach a decision on, like what to have for dinner, where to go on vacation, and what temperature to set the thermostat. The one thing we absolutely do not agree on, have never agreed on?
Deciding what movie to watch.
Jeff and I went to dinner this weekend and he really wanted to go see Zero Dark Thirty in the theater. I wasn’t really down with seeing it, but he usually just goes along with whatever movie I want to see. And the last movie I talked him into seeing was Something’s Gotta Give and I’m pretty sure will never be over it because that movie was god awful.
We made our way to our seats in the theater and it was filling up fast. I sent my sister (Whore Pit Viper) a text and told her I was about to watch a movie I didn’t want to watch and she texted me back that it opens with calls from actual people killed in 9/11 and then features a torture scene.
Here’s the deal. I go to the movies for entertainment. I do not watch movies that contain crimes against humanity, crimes against children, scary bullshit like exorcisms and paranormal activities (that shit is real), or any movie that I think it going to give me nightmares.
Plus Zero Dark Thrity is almost three hours long.
Zakary fun fact: I hate watching a movie with anyone sitting in front of me. In film school, there were 25 of us in HUGE theater and that’s how I watched movies for three years, no one next to me and no one in front of me. I cannot stand someone I don’t know sitting next to me and I have to sit in the aisle seat in last row on the right side with no one in front of me or I am irritated to the point of being unable to focus. I mean, I can barely sit next to Jeff. We all have quirks, this is mine and I’m not sorry. I do not like smelling random people’s smells or hear them rattle their bags or swallow their drinks and this is why we have Netflix.
Zero Dark Thirty was going to sell out and I was going to be stuck watching a movie that was going to give me anxiety while smelling someone else’s smells for three hours and I was beginning to panic a tiny bit. True story: I almost made Jeff sit in front of me and I was going to put my purse in the seat next to me to keep it empty, but that’s a total dick move when the theater is sold out.
Also? News flash: we all know how Zero Dark Thrity ends.
So, I made a decision right before the previews started.
I leaned over and told Jeff that I absolutely was not going to see Zero Dark Thirty.
I then asked him if he would be okay if I went to a different movie.
It was either that or I was going to need the keys and I was going to go to Target and that would probably be expensive.
He told me to enjoy my movie.
And I walked across the hall and sat myself down in the aisle seat of the very last row on the right side with no one in front of me and watched the hell out of Die Hard 5.
Because Bruce Willis is a national treasure, you guys.
I do understand that this post will come back to bite me in the ass if Jeff and I ever get divorced. Everyone will be all, “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised, they didn’t even go to the movies together” and that’s a chance I’m willing to take. On the way home, Jeff said he was disappointed with his movie and was glad at least one of us had a good time and that’s cool because sometimes in marriage you gotta agree to disagree. And not smell other people’s smells.
Michelle
This killed me because I was totally going to ask how it was. Dave really wants to see it and I told him I would, but really… I had no idea how long it was. So Jeff hated it?
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Zakary
He didn’t hate it, he just didn’t enjoy it as much as he thought he would. Also, three hours. Wait for it to come out on DVD.
Issa
There is a Die Hard 5?
I love seeing movies on a Sunday morning. Alone. Six weeks after something has been out. For all the reasons you mentioned and more. My exception is kid movies. Because whatever man, I’ll end up hating it after 99999999 viewings anyway.
Randomly, I am still not over accidentally seeing 10 minutes of some horror flick called The Orphan. Yeah…that was probably 18 months ago.
Zakary
Sunday morning is brilliant, we should go sometime. You just can’t sit in front of me.
Susan
If movie watching is your biggest issue….you are doing GREAT in the marriage world!
Susan from GA
Zakary
Word.
Corrie K
Hahahahahahahaha! Z-dub, your posts seriously never disappoint. DH is making me watch Skyfall right now, and I’m all- fine, long as I can hang out on Pinterest! (BTW, we’re in Korea. ‘Nuff said.) And actually, we don’t watch a ton of movies together… money and 3 small children play a part in that… The last movie we saw together was The Avengers. (Which actually came out in theaters HERE before the U.S. HAHA. Score one for Asia.)
Zakary
Jeff and I go to the movies together like twice a year because clearly I’m a blast to see a movie with.
thedoseofreality
He was disappointed?? Really? I thought it was amazing. I would totally see Die Hard 5, too, though because I love me some John McClain. Okay fine, and Bruce Willis.
thedoseofreality recently posted..Nope, It’s Still Me
Zakary
Jeff’s main issue with ZDT was the ending, he didn’t like how they portrayed the CIA lady person.
Zakary recently posted..Ride Or Die. Hard.
Karen
At least your husband takes you to the movies! We’ve been together over 6 years and have seen ONE movie in the theater. LOL! (I don’t think he likes other peoples smells either!)
tara
Oh my god I love this post. You are awesome and Jeff is awesome and even though Die Hard 5 was super cheesy, I enjoyed the hell out of seeing it with my hubs…on Valentine’s Day. My idea.
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Mr Lady
You can sit next to him and think about watching a movie? Impressive.
Mr Lady recently posted..Better Living Through Voodoo. Science.
Xae
I loved Die Hard 5!! Hubs and I watched it on our anniversary
You rock for choosing that movie. Zero Dark Thirty seems incredibly depressing which is the only reason I refuse to watch it. Too bad Jeff didn’t enjoy it.
I love it that you are so okay with going to movies separately. My husband would probably be okay with it too but I’m a bit overly attached :/
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Holly Folly
I haven’t gone to movie in the theater since, um, I was in collage. So about, eight years maybe? Yeah. I hate the theater. HATE it. I would rather watch movies in my house in my pajamas with my own snacks, and where I can take bathroom breaks whenever I want.
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Amy
The Jeff and Zakary “Die Hard Dark Thirty” was a brilliant decision. Simply brilliant. That is the stuff that STRENGTHENS a marriage. Quirks and finding a win/win…that’s marriage, man. That’s it right there. I’ll confess I’m a little jealous of people who have one or two things in common with their husband, as my husband and I have exactly none…but still, we love being “alone yet together.” That is to say, him watching football, me doing a crossword puzzle. True love. You’re brilliant and I would like to hear more about you and film school. That was quite a teaser there. Fill in the ol’ blanks. Also…forever grateful to your sweet WPV for letting us all know about the beginning of ZD30 because you know what? NO.
Leslie
This is nothing… I’ve know couples who go on separate VACATIONS. Enjoy your happy marriage.
Leslie recently posted..Ms. Magpie’s Magical Medical Month: Fail.
Deb
I have not been to a theatre in YEARS and I don’t really miss it. My husband loves going to the movies, and I’m all like “we have a giant tv and a great couch and snacks that aren’t $45, WHY do we need to go do this with a bunch of strangers?” Plus also I am short, so I can’t see EVER and plus also I heard the theatre south of us had to have Extensive Renovations due to a BEDBUG INFESTATION and EW.
One time we went to a RomCom and I left ONE seat next to me by the aisle so no one would be next to me and some single guy sat next to me and made these horrible little noises throughout the whole thing, like “awwww” and “ohhhhh” at all the romantic moments. It creeped me out so bad I made my husband switch seats.
Deb recently posted..Random Monday
Jules
scary bullshit like exorcisms and paranormal activities (that shit is real)
Exactly. How is it that you and I are the only ones who understand this?
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my favorite and my best- MFAMB to you
you just described my life.
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Kelly @ Turned up to ELEVEN!
First let me say, you just made me feel so much better about NOT going to see this movie with my husband, my bro-in-law and my father-in-law. Part of me wanted to see it. I felt like it was my ‘Merican duty to do so, but then I started thinking about how I get all bent, upset and red in the face and sad when I think about or watch anything on 9-11 and I thought, better not.
Part of me still feels like it’s “too soon”??? Whatever. Bottomline my husband liked the movie, gave it praise but said something wasn’t right about it, sort of the “too soon” deal meets, this is an event we’ve all lived through, not one from our history books. So it’s strange.
That being said – I had contemplated going to see another movie while they did that myself too but I just stayed home and hooked up with Netflix.
I also feel you 100% on the whole not wanting to be surrounded thing. My husband and I do fine together at the movies but people around us… UGH – shut up, stop moving, you stink, why must you sit in front of me that’s where my feet go!!! We’ve started trying our best to get there early, to ensure we get the seats, that are carved out above handicap seating. There is a poll railing perfect for feet, no one gets kicked in the head and I’m happy.
P.S. My father hasn’t been to the movies since he took me to see ET and Jedi as a child. He said he doesn’t like to watch movies in the dark with strangers. I respect that. Even though I love the movies.
Kelly @ Turned up to ELEVEN! recently posted..we are that couple.
Kelly @ Turned up to ELEVEN!
2 more things then I’m done… promise.
Went to see The Watchmen.
1 couple nearly had sex next to us during the sex scene.
another couple brought there three children to the theatre, and allowed the youngest to run free like it was Chucky Freaking Cheeses – and then the dad got pissed when the usher told them they needed to leave, REALLY?
Kelly @ Turned up to ELEVEN! recently posted..we are that couple.
Gaylin
Since I have been single most of my adult life, I go to the occasional movie by myself. I never go on opening weekend and yes, prefer sitting with no one around me.
I went to Skyfall while I was on vacation (by myself) and really enjoyed it, there were maybe 20-25 people in the entire theatre! I brought my own water and snacks and voila, perfect movie watching.
I figure go to movies separately, go on vacations separately, as long as you love each other and enjoy your life – who is to say how you live it!
Deb
Thank you, thank you, thank you. When I am ready to tear my hair out I read a bit from you and laugh my sorry ass off.
Andrea @ Bubblewrapp'd
I don’t do war movies, or kidnapping movies, or movies where parents die and leave kids behind, or movies where kids die, or basically any movie where someone dies. No movies about cancer, no horror flicks, and HELL NO to any paranormal activity and exorcism crap HELL NO.
So obviously between that list of no’s and the fact that we barely ever get to have a date night, we usually only make it to the theater to watch a movie once or twice a year.
I have enough anxiety on my own, without crazy ass movies giving me more reasons to feel all crazy anxious.
I need to see movies that make me laugh. The end.
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lisabella
I very much want to see that movie but after hearing about the torture scenes, I decided we’d rent it and the husband can forward through those.
We’re debating going to see Argo this afternoon, it came back to the Springs after it won an Oscar.
Andrea
My views on movies are exactly like yours, and I wrap them up in one little mantra: Entertainment shouldn’t be hard.
Other than that, OMG. This post is the best. The caption on your picture made it perfect.
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