Bread, Butter, Paperwhites

posted by Zakary on December 21, 2012 | 14 comments (leave one of your own)

Hello. I’m not sure how it is Friday, specifically four days before Christmas, but here we are.

I’m not going to lie, my Christmas spirit is lacking this year, but I’m going to try hard this weekend. Extra hard.

Yesterday was Zoe’s last day of school before Winter Break. I made eight loaves of bread and two pounds of compound butter to give as gifts to her teachers and ladies in the office because I adore of all of them and there aren’t enough gifts in the world to thank them for all they do for Zoe (and all the kids).

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But I think bread is a good place to start.

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Not pictured: the last two loaves that were in the oven.

Now let’s discuss compound butter. I used Alton Brown’s recipe and made about a pound too much.  This means I’m ptobably going to eat a pound of butter this weekend because IT IS DELICIOUS.

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I didn’t plan ahead, so I was scrambling Wednesday night to find adorable glass jars to put the butter into. I bought jars of baby food (applesauce) for 40 cents a pop, lightly spray painted the lids gold, and Troy ate most of the applesauce for lunch (don’t tell him it was baby food).

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I wish I would have had little labels for the tops of the jars, but they are still pretty cute.  I wrapped the bread in parchment paper and tied it with raffia and added labels.  It’s my favorite way to wrap, so easy.

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Project Paperwhite 2012 Update: Shit actually worked.

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I forced those mofos up and out and into my life.  I love them so much.  I check on them every day and I give them pep talks.

They also are overachievers and are trying to grow to the damn ceiling and they kept drooping over, so I stuck chopsticks into the rocks next to them and tied them up with raffia because I had just wrapped eight loaves of bread and the raffia was still sitting out on the kitchen counter.

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My goal for 2013 is to have Paperwhites everywhere.  Coffee table, mantle, bathroom, Jeff’s nightstand, these are my new favorite flower.  I have 11 months to gather as many Paperwhite containers as I can (I have no life).

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And because I know everyone is wondering (thanks to Beth’s hilariously awesome comment), my Paperwhites smelled horrible when they first bloomed. They smelled like a bit of pee + all the smells from Bath & Body Works.  The smell has almost completely faded, I can only smell them if they are like two inches from my face.

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Have a great weekend, send holiday cheer.  And tips on how to not eat a pound of butter.

Sincerely,

Zakary, President/CEO of Team Paperwhites of Colorado (I totally just invented that)

    Comments
  • thedoseofreality


    Dude, I will not even lie. I probably, maybe, totally licked that butter picture right on my computer screen.
    thedoseofreality recently posted..Top 5 Holiday Cookie Recipes…Or How Pinterest Came To Our Rescue!My Profile

  • tara


    Those are the cutest dang jars of butter ever. I have no advice on how not to eat it because I would eat that shit plain. I would smear butter on top of butter. Mmmmm. It is not time for resolutions yet, so shut it.

    The paperwhites are so pretty and I’m glad they don’t smell like cat pee even if it would have been kind of funny…
    tara recently posted..my skin hates winter right now even though i don’tMy Profile

  • Kim


    you might be able to find paperwhites on sale after christmas and you can stock up… I found mine at Target last year.

    • Kim


      Merry Christmas, too!

  • Robin Jingjit


    Homemade bread as a gift is so nice! The teachers must’ve been thrilled.
    Robin Jingjit recently posted..messages from SantaMy Profile

  • Darcie


    I look so forward to your blog, always a laugh, always a good tip and lots of heart. You have totally inspired me, a non-baker to try to bake my own bread, or invent some bread as Troy would say. Thanks for all you do, Happy Holiday’s to you and your wonderful family.

  • Stephanie Precourt


    Oh my gosh why aren’t we neighbors?????? Looks so good!

    Steph
    Stephanie Precourt recently posted..OnwardMy Profile

  • Sally


    OK, now I want pee plants.

  • Xae


    WOW! You’re a homemaking goddess :)
    The paperwhites look amazing!
    Xae recently posted..This One’s for Izu, My dearest Little SisterMy Profile

  • Beth


    I hate that I was right. Ok, no I don’t. But I am glad the smell wore off they really are pretty.

    I would liken them to Russell Brand. Likely very stinky but deep down rather enjoyable.

  • my favorite and my best- MFAMB to you


    all this post made me do was realize what a giant asshole i am.

    i made/gave nothing to fiona’s teachers.
    my favorite and my best- MFAMB to you recently posted..all i want for christmas is for damian lewis to open his mouth a little bit more when he talks..My Profile

  • Five Monkeys and a Chick


    I invent bread too! Right out of the same cookbook too! I don’t think cat pee plants would do well over here. Dummy monkeys would either eat them, lay and roll on them or pee on them. Nope, not for my home. But they sure are purty!
    Five Monkeys and a Chick recently posted..HELLOOOOoooo?!?!? & 12 Ghetto Days of ChristmasMy Profile

  • Issa


    I am drooling right now.
    Issa recently posted..Happy holidays everyoneMy Profile

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