And Then I Did A Touchdown Dance In The Parking Lot

posted by on 09/20/2012 | 22 comments (leave one of your own)

Zoe had her quarterly checkup with her endocrinologist this week. He checks her eyes, her feet, and her blood sugar average, the dreaded A1C.

In May, Zoe racked up an A1C score of 8.2. In range over 50% of the time, more highs than lows, it really was ok, but damn, I walked out of there feeling like such a failure.


Because anytime she goes too high or low? I really do think it is all my fault. I know it isn’t, I do, but then I have a tiny part of my brain telling me that maybe it is because I got sloppy with my math.  Perhaps she’s a tad too high because I let her eat a brownie without a shot because damn, she’s still a kid and sometimes you just need a damn brownie without a side of needles or she went low because we threw caution to the wind and said screw it, I bet your dinner has about 90 carbs, we dosed for it, and it really only had 60 and I forgot that she rode her bike for 25 minutes after school.


To be honest, math plays a big part of her diabetes care, but then you have everything else to contend with as well, like stress, activity, what she ate the night before.  She can eat the same thing for breakfast for a week, have the same amount of insulin before the meal, and have a different reading before lunch every damn time.  This I know is true.


I also would like to choke the shit out of diabetes most days, this I know is true as well.


Except not this week.  After all our hard work these last three months, we walked out of the Barbara Davis Center feeling a little bit like we won this round.  Zoe’s A1C is a 7.2.  And diabetes?


Well, I gave it a high five.

  • Rayray Cruz

    I hate, hate, hate, that you and Zoe and any kiddo has this to deal with.

    Very happy for your win this time 🙂

  • Kate

    Awesome sauce!
    I had my endo visit yesterday, and while my A1C was in target I still left feeling COMPLETELY guilty and crappy.
    You’re right, diabetes can suck it.

  • thedoseofreality

    She rocks the free world and so do you! Way to go Zoe and her mama!

  • my favorite and my best- MFAMB to you

    all those things you said…..yep. it’s there always. and it’s always there.
    good for zoe. good for you. you kicked diabetes in the dick.

  • JC

    Good news!

  • Issa

    Goooo you! And gooooo Zoe!!

    I find it almost funny that Z’s endo is blocks away from my own endo.

  • koreen

    Good lord I had tears in my eyes. Damn girl you rock. Diabetes isn’t going to win when Zoe has you on her team. (((hugs)))

  • Andrea @ Bubblewrapp'd

    You are both awesome. Very very awesome.

  • tara

    kicking ass and taking names. nice work zoe and zdub. i’ll vote for zoe when she runs for president

  • laura

    An entire freakin’ point. Niiicce!

  • Kayt

    Yay yay yay! I’m dealing with gestational diabetes, and that sucks enough, and I find it frustrating enough. I can’t even imagine not having an end date to all of this, and for it to happen to my child, not me? You are one strong lady. This just resonated with me, especially the frustration about the fluctuating readings with the exact same meal! Before they medicated me, I remember sitting in the nutritionist’s office sobbing over my food log compared to my sugar log. It hurts to be out of range when you do everything right, doesn’t it?
    Yay yay yay again!

  • Elaine

    Awesome. 😀

  • xae

    And I high five you for this awesome win 😀

  • Robin Jingjit

    This post is really timely for me. My son has seizures and we’re learning to regulate them with diet. Last night he had one after two months seizure free and I feel like it’s all my fault, for not doing his diet well enough.

    Hearing another mother talk about blaming herself is so good because, of course, when it’s someone else I can see it clearly. Of course it isn’t your fault. You love her and are doing the best you can, and sometimes diabetes is mysterious. So I guess that must be true about my son and me and his condition, too. Thanks.

  • Andrea

    Maybe it’s me being a crybaby, or maybe it’s hormonal, but this post hit me in just the right spot to produce a lot of tears.

    Your honest way of writing how you deal with this hurdle in your lives is lovely. Of course, the pictures that capture real life and still manage to be beautiful don’t hurt either.

    Really love your blog. Just wanted to say it.

  • MissCaron

    I can’t imagine. Glad that this round went really well though. God bless y’all!

  • beth

    Having an eleven month old baby at home I can only hope to be half the kind of mother you are….your dedication to your daughter and her diabetes brings tears to my eyes…and your overall dedication to your family and your creativity and humor are just fabulous. Are those guys lucky to have you or what???

  • Becky (Princess Mikkimoto)

    I wish they wouldn’t call diabetes type 1 and 2 the same thing since they are such different diseases.

    As a type 2, I got my A1C down to 7.1 and my doc isn’t happy until it’s under 7.

    Either way, STUPID diabetes.
    And? You’re doing a great job. Zoe is lucky to have a mom like you.

  • Sara

    I know I was supposed to be focusing on the diabetes in this post (Type 1 for 9 years myself) but I had my eye on little brother in this one! LOL!

  • Megan

    Rock on!

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