Last week, someone left a comment and asked how I keep my house so clean. Um, yeah. That’s obviously a top secret trick that I’m not ready to reveal to you.
Top secret trick=not taking photos of this hot mess
However, I do try to keep my floors washed and vacuumed because I think that instantly makes the rest of your house look 75% cleaner. It’s like people walk in and go, “Oh, your house is so clean!” because the floors are semi-spotless but your countertops and hall closet look like an episode of hoarders minus dried up cat skeletons.
And it’s pretty hard to notice the countertops and hall closet, when you come in and see this:
I’m not too upset that our kitchen is falling apart because the previous owner painted those cabinets a weird shade of baby diarrhea yellow and half of the drawers don’t open unless you use Hulk strength, I’m talking yanking on a drawer with such force you think you might have burst a vessel in your eye and a tiny bit of pee comes out (maybe that’s just me), so we are seriously planning on replacing the cabinets. The kids sent that door to its final resting place AKA not repairable last week. When questioned who actually did it, Troy said “Zoe” and Zoe said “I can’t remember“.
Zoe probably has a future in law. Or as a seasoned criminal.
While I was speaking to them about treating the house with respect and I’m not a maid and I wasn’t put on this earth to clean up your messes (HAHAHAHA) and seeking tiny glimmers of remorse, it was then what I really noticed what Troy had been wearing all day. A shirt? Yes. Size? 12 months. And he took it off his Cabbage Patch.
I’m sorry. Sorry this shirt is awesome.
I’m getting through to them because last night Troy issued a sincere apology to Zoe for who can remember (probably Zoe) and he clearly he wins at apologies.
Have a good weekend, you cheap hotdog.
Zakary22 comments »