No Raccoons Were Physically Harmed In The Making Of This Post. Emotionally Harmed? Probably.

posted by on 10/11/2011 | 637 comments (leave one of your own)

I am going to be straight with you all, I miss Napoleon.

And my squirrels in general.

The bears destroyed my squirrel feeder right before we moved (RUDE) and I have yet to replace it (LAZY).  I know they are out there, the squirrels, watching and waiting for some nutrition and this fills me with shame.

However,  last week when I found two fatass RACCOONS in my trash cans at 7:45 in the morning?  I was filled with rage.  And anger.  And aww, look at the fluffy raccoons.

But mostly anger.

raccoon terror

Raccoons are not squirrels, they do not spark any interest in my heart. They are gross and there were two of them. And they shit all over the inside of my brand new trash cans courtesy of our trash company. Do you know how hard it is to get brand new trash cans in these parts? Difficult, very difficult. I mean, I told J to carry them to the curb so the wheels wouldn’t get scuffed.

He refuses, but at least he doesn’t crap in them (THAT I KNOW OF).


I decided to gently lay the trash can on its side and then open the lid and release the trash can defilers back into the wild.

I made Zoe open the lid BECAUSE I WAS TAKING PHOTOS.


One fat ass raccoon came rambling out, but just one. I was pretty sure there were two so I made Zoe look inside and she was all, “Uh, he looks kinda dead to me”.


And then I was all, “No way is he dead”. So I looked. And he seemed most certainly very dead.


I freaked out. Who do I call for raccoon removal? Can I post an ad on Craigslist? Do I bury it? Do I leave it in the trash can for other people to deal with? Are we murderers? Will this get back to the squirrel community?

Zoe said we should probably confirm the raccoon’s death by poking him with a stick. I concurred, but only because it was so early in the morning and I was in my pajamas and UGG boots taking photos of the inside of my trash can at 7:45 in the a.m. and we are new to the neighborhood. Let’s speed this up because we are introducing our neighbors to a whole other level of crazy.

And that dead raccoon shot out of that trash can and scared the holy hell out of us.


Trash can miracles, y’all.

Send squirrels,

  • question game for couples

    usually posts some quite fascinating stuff like this. If youre new to this site

  • free bingo blitz

    These are in fact great ideas in concerning blogging.
    You have touched some pleasant things here. Any way keep up

  • madhur matka

    It’s hard to come by well-informed people on this subject, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

  • Read More

    Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you so much, However I am experiencing issues with your RSS. I don’t know why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody else having identical RSS problems? Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  • free robux generator

    Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on.
    Any tips?

  • free v bucks generator

    Remarkable things here. I am very happy to see your post.
    Thanks a lot and I’m taking a look forward to contact you.
    Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?

  • Home Page spent catalyst recycling specialist

    I would like to show my thanks to the writer just for bailing me out of such a setting. After looking throughout the the net and coming across principles which are not pleasant, I figured my entire life was gone. Being alive devoid of the approaches to the issues you have resolved by means of your good article content is a crucial case, and ones that might have badly affected my career if I had not encountered your blog post. Your primary natural talent and kindness in dealing with almost everything was vital. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I had not discovered such a step like this. I can also at this point look forward to my future. Thanks so much for this skilled and sensible guide. I won’t think twice to refer your web site to any person who would like direction on this matter.

  • bei scheidung haus verkaufen

    Thanks, I have recently been seeking for details about this topic for ages and yours is the best I’ve found so far.

  • miracle sealants tile and stone sealer

    I used to be recommended this website by means of my cousin. I am now not positive whether this post is written via him as nobody else recognise such distinct about my problem. You’re incredible! Thank you!

  • Dora Poltrock

    Pretty! This has been an incredibly wonderful article. Thank you for providing this info.

  • Delores Littler

    Whether your camping outdoors getaway will be brief or extended, you will always find facts you ought to bear in mind for the getaway. A lot of people go camping out without having looking at up a little into it very first. This post will talk about details and ideas that you ought to must know before you decide to begin. An excellent multiple-objective device has to be component of your camping out products. There are 2 sorts to bring. Initial will be the noticed/hammer/axe 3-in-1 instrument to use for fire wood and also other chores. Another may be the regular multiple-goal device with a number of instruments upon it just like a can opener, tweezers, scissors, plus a blade. When you have a kid, pack a blanket. You are able to lay it on a lawn and employ it as being a makeshift enjoy area. Provide cars, dolls, or what ever things your child is into. They are able to engage in without having acquiring as well messy and you can advise them that they need to maintain their toys about the quilt for safekeeping. This helps to maintain issues from acquiring too spread out. Were you aware that an easy looking glass can save your daily life? Should you be camping outdoors and result in a surviving situation, a straightforward hand held vanity mirror could be used to signal for support numerous miles away. Do not purchase the standard glass looking glass, many camping outdoors provide stores offer wall mirrors made of Lexan that can drift and so are virtually unbreakable. A major issue with lots of people who go camping outdoors may be the insects. Will not get stuck during nowhere without needing some type of bug repellant. Check your setting before putting together camping for any wasp nests or ant mountains which could result in problems. Dress in lengthy pants and very long-sleeved whenever feasible and examine on your own for ticks sometimes. As was mentioned at the beginning on this article, quite a lot of preparing must be done just before going out with a outdoor camping journey. The guidelines supplied in the following paragraphs is the best way to make sure that you’ve taken care of all the necessities which means that your camping out journey will probably be as safe and pleasant as you possibly can.

  • Trey Bongiardina

    For those who have been wanting to know about what you should expect for an impending camping out journey, you have come off to the right position. This article will share basic tips that can make your camping outdoors trip go off of without having a hitch. Keep reading to learn just where you should begin. If you are planning backcountry camping out, you need to most likely have a snake chew set inside your equipment. The very best snake nibble kits are the type which use suction. Some systems have scalpels and the flow of blood constrictors with them. Scalpels can in fact cut the poison to the blood faster, and constrictors can be deadly if not used appropriately. Drinking water is extremely important when camping out. When outdoor camping in a camping area, there ought to be adequate availability of normal water accessible, but around the pathway, you should bring some with you. If you are going long distances, you must most likely bring iodine tablet pcs to sanitize any water you discover before enjoying. Be mindful, dysentery might be fatal. Did you know that a simple match could save your daily life? Should you be camping out and end up in a surviving circumstance, a straightforward handheld looking glass may be used to indicate for support a lot of a long way apart. Do not get the common window vanity mirror, numerous camping out source retailers offer mirrors made from Lexan that may drift and so are virtually unbreakable. Always have a totally stocked initially-assist kit once you enterprise on a outdoor camping getaway. You may come up with your very own set with bandages, gauze padding, tweezers, scissors, anti bacteria skin cream and germ killing baby wipes inside a strong compartment. You can even buy one of the numerous superb ready-created products to save lots of time. To end, you should keep your assistance and recommendations within imagination when you are out contributing to on your own outdoor camping vacation. Nobody wants ahead house coming from a trip as a result of simply being disappointed simply because they were unaware of anything they found it necessary to know upfront. Have a great time enjoy yourself!

  • Buy ketamine Online

    Here is a superb Weblog You may Locate Interesting that we Encourage You

  • kurtkoy escort

    Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you penning this write-up and also the rest of the website is also very good.

  • college ruled notebook 5 subject

    Hey are using WordPress for your blog platform?
    I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you need any coding knowledge to make your own blog?
    Any help would be really appreciated!

    Feel free to visit my page: college ruled notebook 5 subject

  • mike tyson vs roy jones full livestream

    Wow that was strange. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up.
    Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again.
    Anyhow, just wanted to say excellent blog!

  • las vegas tile

    you’ve got an awesome weblog right here! would you prefer to make some invite posts on my blog?

  • powdered urine for drug test

    No man can serve two masters.

  • verkauf einer immobilie nach erbschaft

    An intriguing discussion will probably be worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you can write much more about this topic, may possibly not often be a taboo subject but usually persons are insufficient to chat on such topics. Yet another. Cheers

  • this link natural fungicides

    Excellent site. Lots of useful info here. I’m sending it to several friends ans also sharing in delicious. And naturally, thanks for your sweat!

  • maltepe escort

    The next time I read a blog, Hopefully it doesn’t disappoint me as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read through, however I actually believed you’d have something useful to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something you could fix if you weren’t too busy searching for attention.

  • wax vct floors

    Very nice post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wished to mention that I’ve truly enjoyed surfing around your weblog posts. In any case I will be subscribing for your rss feed and I am hoping you write once more very soon!

  • robux generator

    It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly donate to this brilliant blog!
    I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your
    RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to
    new updates and will share this website with my Facebook group.
    Talk soon!

  • Yolonda Molima

    Going camping outdoors? In preparing for it, have you fully prepared your self for what may come up while you are outside in the crazy? It might appear simple, yet it is essential to stay prepared before hand. Look at the following advice for organizing and undertaking an incredible journey. When preparing to your outdoor camping trip, will not forget chairs along with a radio station. One of the better parts of outdoor camping is sitting across the campfire. You could sit on a well used log, why trouble when you can load recliners and stay cozy. The radio station is for amusement resting across the flame. A much better idea would be to provide your guitar for any sing out alongside. In relation to food, deliver only what you need on the camping vacation. Extra food out in the wilderness can be a contacting cards for outdoors creatures in the future browsing your camping site. If you find that you have more food, tie it in fabric and handg it up to you may inside a shrub from your immediate campground. This helps stop you from unwelcome dog introductions. Study any possible campground well. They all have various amenities. Some may have baths and bath rooms, and some might not. You can even find several campgrounds which are rather expensive, with on location little golf online games or normal water park systems. You may possibly not require or want all of that, so shape it in advance in order that you are not frustrated when investing in there. Especially, if you have kids, you should think about where to start when you have bad weather a day. Get jointly a number of items to get available just in case you need in which to stay your tent. Provide a board activity, enjoy doh and craft items. Don’t let your loved ones associates effect these items until finally it rains in order that they don’t get rid of their charm. Camping outdoors signifies your family and close friends will get a little while the two outside the house and outside the present day community, with all its stress, hectic pace and technology. Whenever you keep in mind all of the suggestions from this report, you can sleeping with your tent in tranquility, understanding all of your bases are protected.

  • best way to clean slate tile floors

    whoah this blog is excellent i love reading your posts. Keep up the good work! You know, lots of people are looking around for this info, you can aid them greatly.

  • Mel Reshard

    Camping out might be the best way to move out and relish the outdoors. It could also be an event which you would give something to neglect. Should you appropriately policy for your holiday, it can prove great. Use the following tips to make for your upcoming outdoor camping getaway to make it one particular you wish to bear in mind. Bring ample food items and snack food things to last you throughout the complete trip. You don’t would like to spend your time going to get food each meal, enjoy yourself while you are camping out. Provide breakfast cereal, hot dogs, and all of your other beloved food products that will gas you throughout your journey. Consider to arrive at the campsite nicely prior to nightfall. This lets you get yourself a sense of the place in the territory and provide you the ability to create camp out as you may still see what you are undertaking. Furthermore, it enables your kids feel a tad bit more confident with their area mainly because they may have time to explore. While you are heading out for that lengthy awaited camping outdoors trip, don’t overlook to take coupled your cellular phone. You could be influenced to keep all the sending text messages and phone calls powering, yet your cellular phone is usually one of your most critical safety lifelines in the case of an unexpected emergency. Ensure it is entirely charged and keep it resistant to the weather within a plastic-type case or water-proof circumstance. Plan appropriately with regards to food. It is actually a inconvenience to create area inside your automobile for all the foods you need. However, proper nourishment is essential if you are in the forests. Also, items which are reasonably economical within your neighborhood shop often carry a higher price near outdoor camping internet sites. Bringing ample food signifies that you can expect to save money and keep anyone inside your family members in a very good frame of mind. If you know what you’re carrying out, you can have a large amount of fun camping outdoors. While camping outdoors isn’t tough, it’s important to have standard know-how about it so the vacation can go easily. Remember the things you have learned out of this write-up, and you could pitch a tent anyplace you want with a bit of exercise!

  • Chastity Dongo

    Get ready for numerous thrilling journeys and testimonies to inform right after these days. With all that you are currently about to learn about camping you will be nervous up until the stop of your getaway. Browse through the following tips this information has to offer you to view what you could understand more about outdoor camping. Always take a entirely supplied first-help package whenever you enterprise out on a camping outdoors trip. You can come up with your own personal package with bandages, gauze pads, tweezers, scissors, anti germs skin cream and antiseptic baby wipes in a tough pot. You can also buy one of the numerous superb ready-produced products to conserve time. H2o is essential when outdoor camping. When camping out with a camping site, there has to be adequate supply of normal water offered, but on the path, you should carry some along. If you are planning very long miles, you ought to almost certainly have iodine pc tablets to clean water you discover prior to ingesting. Be mindful, dysentery can be lethal. Make sure that you steer clear of any venomous plants. The best way to do that is usually to end at the ranger station and request what types of harmful vegetation are in the community so you can identify them if you enter in to experience of them around the path. In no way eat something whilst backpacking in the pathway unless you be aware of it is edible. For those who have a young child, pack a cover. You can lay it all out on the floor and use it being a makeshift engage in area. Take automobiles, dolls, or no matter what goods your youngster is into. They are able to engage in without getting way too unclean and you may advise them that they need to maintain their toys and games around the quilt for safekeeping. This will help to maintain stuff from obtaining way too spread. As possible now see, it’s pretty an easy task to go camping outdoors while by using a constrained spending budget. There exists reasonably priced camping outdoors equipment out there for anyone to utilize, all you have to do is believe it is and purchase it. You really feel greater with the knowledge that your camping outdoors vacation didn’t set you back an arm plus a lower leg.

  • Read Here

    This can be an inspiration to many people. Very good job

  • Additional information

    It’s hard to find well-informed people in this particular topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

  • cashflow finance cml

    I precisely needed to thank you very much once more. I do not know the things that I might have handled without those information documented by you over such a question. It previously was a frightful case for me, however , encountering the specialized avenue you resolved it forced me to leap with gladness. I’m just happy for the work as well as expect you are aware of a great job you are always putting in training the rest with the aid of a web site. Most likely you haven’t got to know all of us.

  • meilleure clé à chocs pneumatique

    This website certainly has all the information and facts I needed concerning this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

  • Esteban Itkin

    Regardless of whether you realize it or not, camping out is a wonderful way to get in touch with oneself. Additionally it is a means to possess a relaxing time outside the tensions of everyday life. There is something you need to be aware of even though, so here are a few suggestions to help make your camping out journey exercise excellent. Package a couple of shovels if there are kids with you on your journey. Children enjoy practically nothing superior to excavating from the debris, and getting the right accessories is very important. When you have space, deliver a bucket way too. Your kids will gladly entertain on their own from the grime when you unpack, setup camp and do everything that you need to do. An important error that travelers make is that they is certain to get dropped on occasion. Will not allow this to eventually you. In case you are unfamiliar with the spot you happen to be outdoor camping in or should you be in the backwoods place, tend not to stray past the boundary from your campsite. A portable Global positioning system is a superb investment if you are planning any sort of backwoods camping venture. Before you begin on that calming camping outdoors getaway, it is crucial to your security to make certain to permit a person know you might be moving. Give you a friend or next door neighbor the brand from the campsite should you use a single. Should you be going out on a significantly less structured journey, give your contact a common notion of where you are going and a timeline for your profit. If one thing goes completely wrong, you will find somebody to know in which to look for you. Make sure you know what’s taken care of in your medical care insurance. In the event you go camping outdoors out of condition, you might need to have protection that you go. That can be a lot more crucial once you want to vacation over global edges. Make certain that your insurance plan will handle you, wherever you will be. As you have seen from the article above, there are several useful tips that can help you like your camping out getaway far more. Simply being ready may be the positive fire way to ensure that you will have a great time whatever arrives your path. This short article will protect what you need to find out about camping outdoors.

  • اغاني

    just beneath, are quite a few completely not related web-sites to ours, however, they are surely really worth going over

  • Gewerbeeinheit verkaufen dresden

    No more s***. All posts of this qaulity from now on

    leave a comment
    Your email is never shared.
    Required fields are marked *