I Will See Your Boop And Raise You A Stache.

posted by on 03/29/2011 | 218 comments (leave one of your own)

Over the last few months, Troy has had a weird bump thing on his cheek, he refers to it as his “boop”, that just keeps getting bigger. Because of course he does. If there is one thing we know how to do around here, it is get the weirdest stuff ever and run with it. I’m convinced my children hold weekly meetings and probably draw up a chart where they take turns deciding who is going to go to the hospital/spike a fever/come down with something that requires a specialist and OMG, I bet Mom is totally going to need to refill the prescription for her mood stabilizer.

I found a pediatric dermatologist and after going to the school to inject Zoe with her lunch time insulin, I shuttled Troy to his appointment. He wasn’t too keen on the idea because he is convinced every time he goes to the doctor, they are going to draw blood. Not this time, buddy. They are just going to give you a shot directly into your face, cut your boop with a scapel and then squeeze it with an extractor. This is obviously way more fun than a blood draw, Troy.

The dermatologist informed me it was a cyst and probably wouldn’t need a biopsy. Before we started, the nurse mentioned that he would receive a numbing injection at the removal site and that Valium was available. I asked if the Valium was for myself or Troy and she totally gave me the judgey you-are-a-pill-chaser side eye. She sternly told me it would be for the patient. I sternly told her I was kidding.

And like I don’t have 12 zannys in my purse.

Mothering these two has taught me you should always be prepared because you just never know when you will be hyperventilating in the hospital at midnight in your pajamas.

As I was holding a Valium-less Troy down (I just think three is too young) and the nurse was coming towards his face with a syringe full of numbing solution, he took one look at that needle and screamed, “BUT I DON’T HAVE DIRE-BETES!”.

I made a mental note that if there is a next time, Troy and I should probably share a martini in the parking lot before the appointment.

The procedure went fine and the dermatologist was able to thoroughly remove the boop and he didn’t even need stitches, just a circle band-aid, which in my opinion is the coolest band-aid you can receive.

And speaking of face procedures, I am having laser hair removal on my upper lip later today. I spent all of this weekend googling “laser hair removal gone wrong” and reading horror stories and watching videos. Don’t do this. Ever.

Also, I have had to grow my moustache out for a month. A MONTH.  I’m sure the people that have had to look at me with their eyeballs recommend I don’t do this ever either.

I know it is going to hurt, the internet told me so.  If it is anything I can’t handle, I will just yell, “BUT I DON’T HAVE DIRE-BETES” and grab some circle band-aids on my way out.

  • Department Of Education

    I would like to thnkx for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website. I’m hoping the same high-grade blog post from you in the upcoming as well. In fact your creative writing skills has inspired me to get my own blog now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings fast. Your write up is a good example of it.

  • Auto Care and Service

    I want to convey my passion for your kind-heartedness in support of all those that must have assistance with this important niche. Your personal commitment to passing the message up and down appeared to be amazingly advantageous and have always encouraged associates much like me to arrive at their endeavors. Your new useful information means this much to me and especially to my mates. With thanks; from all of us.

  • Auto Care and Service

    Thank you so much for giving everyone an extraordinarily special chance to read critical reviews from this site. It is always very pleasant and as well , stuffed with a lot of fun for me and my office peers to search your blog at a minimum three times in a week to study the newest guides you will have. And definitely, I’m actually satisfied concerning the surprising knowledge served by you. Some 2 tips in this posting are indeed the simplest we’ve ever had.

  • Auto Care and Service

    My husband and i ended up being joyful John managed to finish off his survey through the entire ideas he grabbed from your blog. It’s not at all simplistic to simply continually be giving for free helpful tips that a number of people may have been selling. And we also understand we need you to thank for this. The specific illustrations you’ve made, the easy web site menu, the relationships you can make it possible to engender – it’s everything terrific, and it’s assisting our son in addition to our family understand the theme is excellent, and that’s particularly important. Many thanks for everything!

  • Auto Care and Service

    Enjoyed reading this, very good stuff, thanks . “A man may learn wisdom even from a foe.” by Aristophanes.

  • Auto Care and Service

    Magnificent goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely great. I really like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you’re saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep it sensible. I cant wait to read far more from you. This is really a great site.

  • Auto Care and Service

    Good – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well as related information ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Excellent task.

  • Auto Care and Service

    Some really quality blog posts on this web site , saved to favorites .

  • vk25.ru

    Wonderful site you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of
    any message boards that cover the same topics discussed in this article?
    I’d really like to be a part of online community where I can get responses from other
    knowledgeable individuals that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know.
    Thanks a lot!

  • Auto Care and Service

    I simply desired to thank you very much yet again. I do not know the things that I could possibly have worked on in the absence of the aspects revealed by you directly on that field. It truly was a very hard setting in my circumstances, but observing the very well-written fashion you handled it made me to leap for happiness. I’m just happier for your advice and in addition wish you realize what a powerful job you are doing instructing the mediocre ones by way of a site. Most probably you have never met any of us.

  • Auto Care and Service

    Wow, incredible weblog structure! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging glance easy. The full glance of your website is excellent, as smartly as the content!

  • www.my70sradio.com

    I’ve learn several just right stuff here. Definitely price bookmarking for
    revisiting. I surprise how much effort you place to make the sort of wonderful informative web site.

  • http://www.luozutd.com

    When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I
    get three e-mails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service?


  • http://lt.rdxxkj.cn/

    I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and
    visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your
    theme? Great work!

  • sintomas hemorroidas Gravidez

    If you would like to obtain much from this article
    then you have to apply such methods to your
    won blog.

  • 韓国カラコン激安通販

    As soon as I found this internet site I went on reddit to share some of the love with them.

  • reverse mortgage companies

    Hi terrific website! Does running a blog like this require a large amount of work?
    I have absolutely no understanding of coding however I was hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyways, should you have any recommendations or tips for new blog owners please share.
    I know this is off topic however I just had to ask.


  • xxx

    I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right
    here. The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following.
    unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as
    exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.

    leave a comment
    Your email is never shared.
    Required fields are marked *