I know this is going to sound very ridiculous, but I don’t really think about the future. I do think about the adage that states life is what happens when you are making other plans. My plans for the future most certainly did not include my dad dying from cancer at 57, my son being sick for six months straight or my daughter having diabetes.
So when Zoe’s little friend invited her over for a play date earlier this week, it sent me into an emotional tailspin.
I let Zoe go, she really wanted to go. You see, this is her first time over at a friend’s house since the dire-betes. I love the little girl and her mom is fabulous, they live two miles from us. But. I spent the entire three whole hours she was playing at the friend’s house nervously watching the clock and my mind racing.
Did she eat her snack? Will she know what to do if she feels low? OMG, CAN I GO PICK HER UP YET?
I realized JUST THIS WEEK that Zoe will grow up and probably ditch me. I won’t always be able to micromanage her life. I guess this is difficult for any mother face, but it never crossed my mind until dire-betes was in the picture.
The next day, the girls wanted to have another play date, but I can only handle one or two emotional episodes a week.
So I took them bowling. With me. Where I can watch my daughter with my own eyeballs.
Troy went too. He bowled (with a hot pink ball he picked out all on his own) a super high score of 106 and won the first game.
The girls love him to pieces. I hope he outgrows it.
I think next time I might bowl with the weird rocker metal ramp.
Actually, I wonder if they manufacture one I could use for my life.
But for now, on this day where we bowled, I am doing okay on my own.13 comments »