Untitled Because I’m So Very Tired.

posted by on 09/21/2010 | 6,068 comments (leave one of your own)

I’m teetering on the edge, dangerously close to slipping and falling into a deep, dark space of scary. I want to run out the front door, out into the night and breathe the cool air in and exhale the dread and the terror. I picture myself running down the driveway and through the trees, barefoot and in my yoga pants that I wear for everything but yoga, with my ponytail stretching behind me as I pick up speed along the asphalt, the pine trees lining the road point me in the right direction.

Any direction is the right direction as long as it isn’t my effing house at bedtime.

Because god forbid we try to put people that are not adults to bed at a “decent” hour.

A “decent” hour at this house is eleven p.m. if you are Zoe. And one a.m. if you are Troy.

Zoe is pretty chill about the whole situation, she’s had nine years to come up with a fail proof plan on how to manipulate her way into staying up at least an hour past the original mention of “Get in bed“.

1. Accomplish all steps you were instructed to do, i.e. brush teeth, jammies, etc.
2. Go to room and read.
3. Read is code for “wait for your mother to activate DVR+laptop+wine because she thinks she’s victorious in executing a successful parenting mission”.
4. Turn off light, sneak into hallway and watch tv along with your mother until she catches you.

Troy has flat out decided that bedtime is for suckas. He is having none of it, unless we all go to bed at the same time in the big bed. Most of the time, I do not feel like going to bed at eight o’clock in the evening, so we have tried to convince Troy that his bedroom is the where it’s at, it being get-the-hell-out-of-our-room. We have tried to establish a soothing routine, you know, a relaxing bath, warm jammies, bedtime stories. OH GOD WITH THE BEDTIME STORIES. I’m talking board books out the face, we cover everything. From shapes and numbers, to goodnight moon, to that eff-hole Biscuit puppy ruining perfectly good birthday parties and hippos and their bee-bos, Troy is well read. Like probably the most well read toddler I know, I’m not kidding. Meanwhile, if I have to spend on more evening on a toddler mattress reading about the lady with the alligator purse I am going to need sedation. And a straight jacket. At least that way I won’t have to turn the pages of the same eighteen board books.

Dont’ get me wrong, it’s not all the reading that’s getting me down. It’s what comes after I try to stop reading, when I put the brakes on Midnight Story Time starring Mom and Troy.


He needs to brush his teeth, which we did two hours ago when I originally decided he should go to bed. He requests to “look at Zoe”, who I am sure at this point is probably just sitting on the couch with the remote watching SATC reruns because she went to “bed” three hours ago and since I’m in Troy’s room having Bed Wars Showdown Part 65049, she doesn’t have to sit in the hallway. He absolutely cannot rest until he has *insert name of some random hot wheel car*. I have no idea what he’s talking about, so I have to go search through the car bin. At this point, he’s peed in his diaper (stall tactic, Zoe probably coached him) and I have to change him. He insists on a red diaper, only red, and then you must put his regular underwear on over it.

After this debacle that happens nightly, he falls asleep while I sit on the floor beside his bed and stare at him like Clarice from Silence of The Lambs.

When it’s over, I feel defeated. And tired because by the time Troy and I finish up the going to bed standoff, it’s one a.m. After this last go around, I might have gone in the kitchen and eaten an entire row of seasonal oreos to ease my pain.

Clearly there are no winners.

  • microsoft office project 2016

    I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.

  • Merrill Schabert

    It’s hard to search out educated folks on this matter, however you sound like you recognize what you’re talking about! Thanks

  • Beverley Mangas

    Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely useful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such info much. I was seeking this particular info for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  • Ucuz takipçi satın al

    Kesinlikle şifre talep etmiyor, bir uygulamaya giri yapmanızı istemiyoruz. Bu şekilde sizden şifre talep eden yerlerden alışveriş yapmamanzı tavsiye ediyoruz.

  • clinica de sexo

    Greetings from Los angeles! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the info you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, amazing blog!|

  • Gail Palazzola


  • 2021 vr

    I think this is a real great post.Much thanks again. Great.

  • golden goose shoes

    I precisely needed to say thanks once more. I’m not certain the things that I could possibly have undertaken without the secrets documented by you concerning this industry. It had been a frustrating problem in my opinion, but looking at your well-written mode you handled that forced me to jump for delight. I am grateful for this guidance and as well , sincerely hope you know what a great job you’re putting in teaching men and women through your web page. More than likely you’ve never met any of us.

  • golden goose outlet

    I really wanted to write down a small word in order to appreciate you for the remarkable items you are writing here. My extensive internet research has at the end been paid with extremely good concept to go over with my friends. I would point out that many of us readers are very much fortunate to dwell in a fine network with so many wonderful professionals with good things. I feel rather grateful to have seen the weblog and look forward to so many more pleasurable times reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.

  • Url

    This is very interesting, You are an overly skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and stay up for seeking more of your excellent post. Also, I have shared your website in my social networks!

  • earth2

    Major thankies for the post.Much thanks again. Awesome.

  • สล็อตออนไลน์

    Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Many thanks

  • Yvone Loht


  • is bitlevex legit

    You made some good points there. I looked on the net to find out more about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this website.|

  • https://abrianojlj.gitbook.io/jasperfpjo786/fat-burning-include-chocolate-to-your-diet-regimen

    Enjoyed every bit of your article.Thanks Again. Will read on…

  • baixar vídeos gratis

    I do consider all of the ideas you’ve presented in your post. They’re really convincing and can certainly work. Still, the posts are too brief for beginners. May you please extend them a little from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.|

  • slot online

    Thanks , I have recently been searching for info about this subject for a long time and yours is the best I’ve came upon till now. But, what about the bottom line? Are you sure in regards to the supply?

  • microsoft project standard 2019

    Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear idea

  • bathing ape

    I really wanted to develop a simple word to be able to say thanks to you for all of the wonderful recommendations you are posting on this website. My rather long internet search has at the end of the day been recognized with excellent know-how to go over with my great friends. I would state that that most of us site visitors are rather fortunate to be in a superb network with very many lovely people with insightful secrets. I feel quite privileged to have come across the weblog and look forward to plenty of more awesome times reading here. Thanks once again for a lot of things.

  • kyrie 7

    A lot of thanks for all of the efforts on this web page. My mum takes pleasure in going through investigations and it’s obvious why. I notice all regarding the compelling mode you make rewarding thoughts via your web site and as well as welcome response from others on this concept then our favorite girl is always studying a lot of things. Take pleasure in the rest of the new year. You’re the one performing a dazzling job.

  • golden goose

    Thanks a lot for giving everyone an exceptionally marvellous chance to read critical reviews from this website. It is always very ideal plus full of amusement for me personally and my office fellow workers to search your site minimum 3 times every week to learn the newest items you will have. And definitely, I am also certainly fulfilled concerning the special inspiring ideas served by you. Selected 4 points on this page are in truth the most efficient we’ve ever had.

  • cost of tolterodine 1mgtolterodine pharmacy

    cheapest zofran zofran 8mg usa zofran 8mg over the counter

  • https://www.gta5-mods.com/users/giamcanhieuqua

    Say, you got a nice article. Want more.

  • Lanette Livermore

    I’m very happy to read this. This is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the accidental misinformation that is at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this best doc.

  • Tony Westmoreland

    The next time I read a blog, I hope that it won’t disappoint me as much as this particular one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read, nonetheless I genuinely thought you would probably have something interesting to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something you could possibly fix if you weren’t too busy seeking attention.

  • massachusetts home care regulations

    Thanks for a marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you can be a great author.I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and will come back in the foreseeable future. I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great job, have a nice evening!

  • Ipavdvaz

    You actually reported that perfectly. buy generic viagra online with mastercard

  • is bitlevex legit

    Have you ever considered creating an ebook or guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based upon on the same ideas you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my visitors would value your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e-mail.|

  • Gordon Martischnig


  • stone island

    I would like to express some appreciation to you for rescuing me from this particular issue. As a result of browsing through the world-wide-web and obtaining basics which were not pleasant, I figured my entire life was done. Living without the solutions to the difficulties you’ve resolved as a result of the blog post is a crucial case, as well as those that might have badly affected my career if I had not encountered the website. Your personal expertise and kindness in maneuvering all the things was excellent. I am not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come upon such a thing like this. It’s possible to at this point look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time so much for this reliable and effective guide. I won’t be reluctant to suggest your blog post to any person who should have assistance on this area.

  • adidas yeezy

    I precisely desired to thank you so much all over again. I am not sure what I might have tried in the absence of those concepts provided by you concerning that topic. It previously was a real horrifying circumstance for me, nevertheless witnessing your specialised style you treated it forced me to leap over gladness. I’m thankful for your assistance and as well , sincerely hope you know what a powerful job you’re getting into training the others with the aid of a blog. Most probably you haven’t met all of us.

  • microsoft office professional 2019 product key

    The subsequent time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I imply, I do know it was my option to learn, but I actually thought youd have one thing interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you can fix for those who werent too busy on the lookout for attention.

  • Click here

    It’s great that you are getting ideas from this post as well as from our argument made at this time.|

  • Fresh details about Jessica Alba Plastic surgery

    Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and return to read extra of your helpful info. Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.|

  • Gebze web tasarım

    Hello to all, for the reason that I am genuinely eager of reading this weblog’s post to be updated regularly. It carries nice data.|

  • robaxin usa

    where to buy zyprexa 5 mg zyprexa 7,5mg without prescription zyprexa online

  • buy cocaine online

    For newest information you have to go to see the web and on the web I found this site as a finest website for latest updates.|

  • casino characters

    Good way of describing, and fastidious piece of writing to get facts regarding my presentation subject matter, which i am going to convey in university.|

  • Tinder dating site

    browse tinder for free , tinder date
    tinder app

  • website

    Nice answers in return of this difficulty with real arguments and explaining everything concerning that.|

  • parapharmacie sans frais de port

    http://sansordonnancefr.com – levitra sans ordonnance

  • Jacqueline Martir


  • here

    The author is known by the category of Thad anf the totally digs that reputation. Administering databases has been his regular job for a spell. I am really fond of climbing and I’ll be starting something else along the earth .. California is where he’s always been living. You can always find her website here: #link#

  • Pwzwtc

    best generic cialis – https://edplsvici.com/ levitra

  • yeezy shoes

    My wife and i were fortunate when Louis could conclude his homework because of the ideas he received from your own web page. It is now and again perplexing just to happen to be giving out facts which some other people might have been trying to sell. Therefore we know we’ve got you to give thanks to for this. Most of the explanations you’ve made, the simple web site menu, the friendships you can make it possible to foster – it is mostly fabulous, and it’s making our son and the family reason why that situation is exciting, and that’s exceedingly mandatory. Thank you for the whole lot!

  • goyard handbags

    I precisely wished to appreciate you again. I’m not certain the things I would’ve sorted out without the smart ideas shared by you over this theme. This was a very hard condition in my view, however , considering a new professional approach you managed it forced me to weep for happiness. I will be happier for this information as well as trust you comprehend what a great job you have been putting in training people by way of your site. Most likely you have never met any of us.

  • yeezy supply

    I wanted to compose you a little bit of note in order to thank you as before for your personal incredible tricks you’ve documented above. It has been particularly open-handed with you to provide freely what exactly a few people would’ve sold as an electronic book to earn some cash for their own end, primarily now that you could possibly have tried it in case you decided. Those things also acted like a good way to understand that most people have the identical dream much like my own to grasp very much more in terms of this problem. I’m sure there are a lot more enjoyable occasions ahead for individuals who discover your site.

  • yeezy boost 350 v2

    I needed to put you that very little observation to say thanks once again with the splendid techniques you have shared on this website. It’s quite incredibly generous of people like you to give unreservedly all some people could possibly have supplied for an e book in order to make some cash for themselves, chiefly since you might well have tried it in the event you considered necessary. These techniques also served to be a good way to be sure that other people online have a similar keenness just as mine to know significantly more in regard to this matter. I’m sure there are millions of more pleasant periods ahead for folks who scan through your website.

  • kyrie 6

    I would like to show appreciation to this writer just for bailing me out of this type of issue. As a result of surfing throughout the online world and seeing strategies which were not powerful, I was thinking my life was well over. Existing devoid of the answers to the problems you have resolved through this guideline is a serious case, and ones that would have negatively affected my career if I hadn’t encountered your web site. Your mastery and kindness in playing with a lot of things was vital. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t discovered such a step like this. I can at this moment relish my future. Thanks a lot so much for the high quality and effective help. I won’t hesitate to recommend your site to anybody who will need guidance on this issue.

  • Trackbacks

  • Trackback from dutchnews
    Wednesday, 13 January, 2021


    […]Here is a good Weblog You may Come across Exciting that we Encourage You[…]

leave a comment
Your email is never shared.
Required fields are marked *