Dare To Keep Your Kids Off Leggings

posted by on 08/18/2010 | 571 comments (leave one of your own)

Zoe and I currently have an ongoing argument, an argument that I am embarrassed to say has lasted all summer. It escalated this morning and I’m not sure I handled it properly, I mean, I might have thrown clothes and she might have shut a dresser drawer a little bit too hard.

We are fighting over leggings.

Specifically, whether or not is acceptable to wear leggings with a too short tshirt. That she wants to tuck in. With a jean jacket.

I have nothing against leggings, I grew up in leggings. When I was Zoe’s age, I was all about “stirrup” pants and too long sweaters. I wish I could spend all my days and nights in leggings and baggy tops, it’s genius. And very comfortable. So when she comes strolling out of her room in a Hello Kitty glitter tee that she outgrew LAST YEAR and polka dot leggings, I get it. But you are not going to go out of the house like that, so turn it around and put a skirt on and I know I’m ruining your life, that’s the plan.

I swear to baby jesus, she is going to grow up and be a district attorney. She argues her guts out with me and even though it makes me want to hold a bonfire with a pile of leggings, I’m secretly kind of proud of her. She stands up for herself and presents facts. Most of the time when she is following me around the kitchen while I load the dishwasher and she is spouting her 12 minutes long diatribe on Leggings+Short Tees And Why It’s Acceptable, I expect her to wrap it up with, “And the defense rests, your Honor.”

Now, I am trying to be understanding, I am. Zoe is allowed to sleep in her legging/tee getup, but is not allowed to exit the house in such a fashion. I thought I had gotten through to her except then I get a call from her while I’M AT WORK and she’s telling me that she went to the grocery store in said attire because everyone is oblivious to Battle Of The Leggings 2010 and basically defying you is no fun unless you know about it.

After I got Zoe off to school, after Leggings Fight #283, I sat down to research important information regarding the history of leggings for this post (Goggling “leggings-yes or no”) and I ran across this little gem:

L.Nohan

Internets, did I mis something? Is this like appropriate attire? I mean, on one hand it’s Lindsay freaking Nohan. I think this just reiterates my point regarding why you should wear leggings NEVER. Zoe is going to take one look at this picture and be all, “Ooh, I really like her leggings” and “I told you so”. I take one look at this picture and think, “Leggings today, eight ball tomorrow” because everyone knows leggings are a gateway drug.

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