Face Science Doesn’t Lie

posted by on 02/03/2010 | 326 comments (leave one of your own)

Allow me to introduce you to a little bit of magic that takes your face science and matches it to celebrities that you most resemble. If you are supposed to be doing normal common folk life stuff, like putting away laundry or cooking (yawn), get yourself to that site pronto and prepare to be amazed sidetracked for like a whole afternoon.

Now I have heard “you look so much like Kyra Sedgwick” and “did anyone ever tell you that you look like that chick from My So Called Life?” all the live long day, so I’m used to being compared to famous people. I usually act gracious and feign mild modesty but really I’m thinking to myself “I know I really look like Gisele Budchen, it’s cool”.

Imagine my surprise when I plug in my first photo and have my eyeballs/brain/soul assaulted with this mess:

Jeff Gordon, people. I most resemble a Nascar driver who is a MAN. I know Winona Ryder is hot, but I cannot rock short hair. I cut my hair short once in college because I knew I would look just like Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors, but everyone just said I looked like Ellen Degeneres. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Ellen Degeneres, unless you are going for Gwyneth and you are 21. Then it’s devastating. However it is better than JEFF GORDON and the face science magic producer might be broken.

Take two. Different photo.

These are results I can get on board with. I mean, let’s just pretend Harvey Keitel was just a glitch in the program and I would rather look like Bo Derek than Raquel Welch, BUT PEOPLE I AM ASIAN. 40% Asian. I knew it all along; I’m a secret Asian.

On to the children.

Pretty accurate, she does look quite a bit like Piper Perabo. Please note that Zoe is also 20% Asian, which makes total sense because I’m 40%.

Last but not least, Little Troy.

100% Asian. Disregard he’s 100% Asian female. He’s a modern day Asian cowboy, a blonde haired, blue eyed silent Asian. By not appearing ninja, he is tapping into his true warrior capabilities. Troy, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize from the bottom of my secret 40% Asian heart for doubting your Asianess. You are decidedly the most Asian person to walk the streets of Colorado, or at least the street in front of our house and I love you and your Asian sister all the live long day.

Obviously I have some seriously strong Asian genes.

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