Face Science Doesn’t Lie

posted by on 02/03/2010 | 27 comments (leave one of your own)

Allow me to introduce you to a little bit of magic that takes your face science and matches it to celebrities that you most resemble. If you are supposed to be doing normal common folk life stuff, like putting away laundry or cooking (yawn), get yourself to that site pronto and prepare to be amazed sidetracked for like a whole afternoon.

Now I have heard “you look so much like Kyra Sedgwick” and “did anyone ever tell you that you look like that chick from My So Called Life?” all the live long day, so I’m used to being compared to famous people. I usually act gracious and feign mild modesty but really I’m thinking to myself “I know I really look like Gisele Budchen, it’s cool”.

Imagine my surprise when I plug in my first photo and have my eyeballs/brain/soul assaulted with this mess:

Jeff Gordon, people. I most resemble a Nascar driver who is a MAN. I know Winona Ryder is hot, but I cannot rock short hair. I cut my hair short once in college because I knew I would look just like Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors, but everyone just said I looked like Ellen Degeneres. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Ellen Degeneres, unless you are going for Gwyneth and you are 21. Then it’s devastating. However it is better than JEFF GORDON and the face science magic producer might be broken.

Take two. Different photo.

These are results I can get on board with. I mean, let’s just pretend Harvey Keitel was just a glitch in the program and I would rather look like Bo Derek than Raquel Welch, BUT PEOPLE I AM ASIAN. 40% Asian. I knew it all along; I’m a secret Asian.

On to the children.

Pretty accurate, she does look quite a bit like Piper Perabo. Please note that Zoe is also 20% Asian, which makes total sense because I’m 40%.

Last but not least, Little Troy.

100% Asian. Disregard he’s 100% Asian female. He’s a modern day Asian cowboy, a blonde haired, blue eyed silent Asian. By not appearing ninja, he is tapping into his true warrior capabilities. Troy, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize from the bottom of my secret 40% Asian heart for doubting your Asianess. You are decidedly the most Asian person to walk the streets of Colorado, or at least the street in front of our house and I love you and your Asian sister all the live long day.

Obviously I have some seriously strong Asian genes.

  • MODG

    you TOTES do look like Claire Danes! but kind of also a mix of Johnny Damon. I don't know who he is but I trust face science.
    Zoe is going to be PISSED about the Glenn Danzig thing.

  • sarah

    Maybe Amanda is Troy's father? I mean, she's definitely Asian.

  • meredith

    i would have pegged you for kyra sedgwick and claire danes, too. but i guess the people at 'my heritage' are the experts, so what do i know. i LOVE that your blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy is 100% asian. someone in your family had to represent.

  • jayme

    asian or not, y'all are one attractive little familia! love it all! i'm on my way over to that site now…

  • Sarah Viola

    Your Celebrity Look-alike friend thinks I look like Roy Orbison. So. It could always be worse: your husband could serenade you with Pretty Woman every time you put on your glasses. Jerkwad.

  • Sarah Viola

    Not you, your Celebrity Look-alike friend. And my husband, a little.

  • Mommy Lisa

    Awesome-ness! I gotta do this again!

    • Forever

      En mi opinión, el personaje adulto, es decir, tú mismo, manifiesta un maternidad latente imposible de satisfacer bimae³gicloÃnte -por ahora- o ese deseo -corriente- de regreso constante, recurrente, a la infancia perdida. Algo así como el “Rosebud” pronunciado “in articulo mortis” por el Ciudadano Kane.Una historia preciosa.

  • Jennifer

    I am off to do this RIGHT NOW.

  • Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman

    I spent an entire afternoon doing this – good use of my time! How did you post it your blog? It would not let me?

  • Miss Thystle

    at least it's YOUNG harvey keitel.

  • ZDub

    To save it to your blog, click on save and then click Other. It gives you the code to copy and paste to your post.

    I know how to do technical stuff like this thanks to my Asian heritage.

  • BusyDad

    You are cracking me up. Completely cracking me up. and I am at work. Not good. That same machine said I look like John Cho of Harold and Kumar fame. And a bunch of Asian female pop stars. I was hoping for Bruce Lee… oh well. I'm a 100% funny girly Asian. Science has spoken.

  • Chris

    Just too funny! I'm supposed to be working here! Staawwwwp it!

  • Mr Lady




  • meg_a_million2

    Ahahahahahaha!! This post brought me out of lurk-dom. I just started reading your blog, and not only are you funny in general, this post is HILARIOUS. If it makes you feel any better, I got Jon Bon Jovi with his crazy 80's Farrah 'do. And 3 asians. And Thora Birch. Of the 5, I'm going with Thora…

  • Rebekah Borucki

    I laugh so hard when I read your blogs. I have to do this now!

  • I am Trish Marie

    Asian is obviously a reccessive gene. Your hubs must be exhibiting his dominant non-Asian genes. Then Baby Troy inherited your 40% Asian coupled with your hubs reccessive Asian genes. *BAM* Full blown Asian baby.

  • Amber

    Those are soooo funny.

    But dude–it should be totally against the rules to have men in the mix.

    Excuse me while I go shave.

  • 3StinkyBoysAndMe

    This is SO cool! I'm so going to try this tonight! I love it!

    • Rita

      Kewl you should come up with that. Exeellcnt!

  • Elaine A.

    OH, I'm just crackin' up over here! You do NOT look like Jeff Gordon!!

    And yes, Kyra and Claire Danes I can totally see…

  • The Lil Bee

    Oh, I am all over this!

    PS Zoe as Glenn Danzig is just wrong.

  • Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic

    Oh this made me laugh!

    Maybe Zoe just has some Danzig on the inside she certainly rocks but does not resemble him at all!

  • Sam

    AHAHAHAH, my husband and I are wiping tears from our faces after reading this.
    Just stumbled onto your blog today and love it!

  • Amanda Rex

    When I first saw your photos, before I knew you aren’t Asian, I thought you were half Vietnamese.

    (I’m reading your whole entire blog. It’s awesome.)

  • Trackbacks

  • Trackback from Happy Goodbye To 2010. | Raising Colorado
    Friday, 31 December, 2010

    […] a possible chupacabra and he is now like the most famous squirrel on the internet. We learned about science and we took a trip and another trip, but the best time was when we were just home doing what we […]

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