Archive for January, 2010


posted by on 01/15/2010

Dear Zoe,

When I was pregnant with you, people would always ask if I wanted a boy or a girl. I said without a doubt that I would like a boy. Girls are trouble; girls are drama.

A few weeks before you born, I had a dream. In that dream, a baby stood in front of a fireplace and turned and smiled at me. I would find out once you were here that the baby had your exact face. The baby was you.


After five hours of pushing and with the help of forceps, you were born. And, of course, a girl. I had never even changed a diaper or held a newborn until you. To say I had no idea what I was doing is an understatement.


We had our fair share of problems. When you were fresh on the scene you refused to eat, which forced me to have meetings with a breast pump every 30 minutes around the clock. For three weeks. You wouldn’t sleep alone, so I had to lie down with you just to have you wake up when I tried to sneak out of bed. You made numerous scenes in public, so much so that we couldn’t go out to eat for a year. You were that baby.


Eventually that baby turned into my child, my very strong spirited child. When you were three, I enrolled you in ballet class, envisioning you on stage in a puffy skirt with other girls twirling and twirling. Twenty minutes into the first class, you walked out, took my hand and said, “This sucks, let’s go”. And to be honest, the class did suck. The instructor spent the entire twenty minutes trying to line up 13 three year olds in a straight line. I could feel the rest of the mothers eyes on me as I gathered your things and tried not to laugh.


This morning, I asked you what your wish was . Without missing a beat, you told me your wish was to learn to drive. I think about how quickly these nine years have gone by, how soon enough you will be driving, and it makes me quickly catch my breath.


My wish is that you just be you. It’s hard to grow up, to figure things out on your own, but I know that you will do just fine.


Nine years from now, you won’t need me like you do this very instant. I can’t help but think that as of today, the job that you hired me to do is half over. Maybe, just maybe, if I can raise you in a somewhat correct manner, we will have something similar. Same us, still mother and daughter, but it will be different. Perhaps we will be friends.


And I can’t wait.

Happy 9th Birthday, sweet girl.



It’s Like Animal Planet But With Less Knowledge

posted by on 01/08/2010

We get all kinds of wildlife that stroll through our yard. I’ve seen foxes, a raccoon (eating our trash), bears and mostly deer.

Here’s one giving me the side eye.


For the last few months, I’ve noticed a THING hop past my kitchen window. I say THING because I have no idea what it is. It kinda looks like a cat, hops like a rabbit, but has a tail like a squirrel.

It walks hops by every afternoon around noon, so I kept an eye out for it and my camera close by.


Please note the ears, what are up with its ears? I also set some food out for it next to the house. I figured I could tell what it was by its dietary choices. I put out lunch meat (cat), carrots (rabbit) and peanuts in the shell (squirrel). When I checked the next day, all the food was gone. When I told J about my experiment, he just stared at me for a long time and said something about me possibly getting a day job. My husband obviously has no love for wildlife and does not share in my quest for getting to the bottom of things.

I would also like to add I have never seen the cat.rabbit.squirrel sit up on his hind legs, you know like a squirrel does when it is gathering nuts or pondering how to eat your eyeballs. It does not walk, it only hops, and its tail only sticks straight out. I have never seen it climb a tree and when I open my backdoor to go outside and see if it will be friends with me, it hops away very, very fast, which is totally rude.

I have also named him Napoleon.

Let me know if you have any ideas what is up with Napoleon. Zoe looked at the photograph and said it was “a bad picture of a cat with weird ears” and when Troy sees it, he points and says “BO-BOLLY!” I have nothing to work with over here.