I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas. We had a lovely time, despite being bombarded with relatives, none of whom we really remember inviting. Eh, bygones. We all played nice, see drank wine, and are grateful that the holidays are only once a year. My husband does want it noted that during Christmas dinner, he and I had to sit at the kids’ table because there weren’t enough dining room chairs and no one offered us seats. Even Zoe. (Troy was asleep.) Two shots of Jim Beam later (secretly in the kitchen), we really could have cared less where we sat.

That’s really not what we need to discuss. What I would like to discuss is Christmas cards. Or more importantly, the lack of Christmas cards that I received in the mail.

Let’s review the statistics:

ZDub=Sent 43 cards
ZDub=Recieved 11 cards

Looking at these numbers do not make me feel good about myself. It makes me feel very unpopular and obviously affects my self-worth.

I would also like to report on the quality of the cards. With the exception of Beth’s rad card, the card from Uncle Steve’s mother where she included a photo AND a poem she wrote about 2009 and the card that my friend Chris sent where he wrote his greeting on a sheet of paper so I could reuse it (hot idea), the rest of the cards I got in the mail sucked hard. There I said it. I mean, someone we are related to sent us a card that looked like it had been stuffed in their junk drawer for months and was one of those free cards the SPCA sends you with a dog that has sad eyes wearing a Santa hat and they spelled my name wrong.

I am putting my address book on warning. Do not just send me a card because I sent you one. Put some thought into it. I’m not saying that the world should send custom letterpress on pearlescent card stock handmade from reprocessed elephant dung (I ordered my photo cards for $23 for 40 and got free rush shipping), I would just like a card that says “Happy Holidays, ZDub. We care about you because we put some thought into our card, spelled your name correctly and managed to mail it to you before Christmas”.

You know who wouldn’t let me down? The Internets. Next year, I’m sending all my good cards to my blog friends and my address book is getting our names signed in Sharpie on a sour cream lid. Stuffed in a Dorito bag.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m off to recycle my cards. Did you know that you can mail them to St. Jude’s Ranch Recycled Card Program and the children and volunteers re-purpose them into new cards that you can purchase next year? And that the money benefits St. Jude’s?

That makes me so happy that I can almost look past the craptasticness of the cards I received.

I said ALMOST.