I ran to the grocery store early Sunday morning to take care of the upcoming week’s shopping. I left the kids at home with Jeff because I simply cannot focus on the task at hand when there is whining, begging and pouting. And the kids are pretty bad too.

Heh.

Armed with my list, the store ad and my coupons, I made it to the back and was standing at the butcher counter. I was trying to decide on what to get, thinking how disgusting raw meat is and how the only thing standing between me and true domestic epic grandeur is the fact that I can’t fold a gahdamn fitted sheet. I looked over and noticed a nice looking Asian man looking at pita chips a few feet to my left.

And it was totally Jon Gosselin. Possibly. But minus the Ed Hardy douchetastic wear. And without the eight kids.

I have a confession to make. I love the shizz out of some J & K Plus Eight. I have loved that train wreck since the beginning. I hope they can get back together and the show will get a green light because honestly, my Monday nights are lacking. Yeah, I know I still have the little people show, but they are about as interesting as toast. I don’t blame Jon Gosslein, seriously with the dumb twenty year olds, you’re wasting your Asian. I don’t blame Kate, honey relax. Take a Xanax and wash it down with a nice red. And her hair? It’s not that bad. When she wore it wavy on The View, I thought she looked pretty. She gets a lot of flack for being so mean, but she has EIGHT kids. I only have two and I am fairly certain I could give her a run for her money in the bitch department. Especially when you don’t USE A COUPON because paying full price is DUMB.

Ahem.

Jon Gosselin and I were on the same grocery store shopping track and we hit pretty much every aisle at the same time. After I consulted Google as to whether or not Jon Gosselin was in Colorado and shopped Safeway (results inconclusive), I backtracked and decided to get more diced tomatoes and I ended up behind him in the checkout line. While he was unloading his purchases, I decided to take a quick photograph of him ala People Of Wal-Mart style, but mainly because I was going to text it to Jeff and tell him I was kicking it with Jon and not to expect me home anytime soon. Or it was going to be the first photo on my new website, Asians I’m Stalking.

I ready the camera on my BlackBerry, wait until he is semi-facing me and take the picture.

And my phone, with it’s volume on Def-con 1000, screams “SAY CHEESE!” and makes the shutter clicking sound. LOUD.

And then I died.

Money saved using coupons and shopping sale items: $41.83
Items purchased you didn’t need because you weren’t focusing: 3
Having Jon Gosselin look alike glare at you for being a crazy: Priceless