Here we are on Day Two of Colorado’s epic snowstorm AKA Let’s Pretty Much Cancel Halloween Because There Is Two Feet Of Snow EVERYWHERE And No One Can Go Anywhere Unless You Are A Driver For UPS Than You Have To Leave For Work An Hour Early And You Will Still Be Late. Or LPMCHBTITFOSEANOCGAUYAADFUTYHTLFWAHEAYWSBL for short.

I know, I live in Colorado, it’s snowing, get over it. Here’s the deal, it’s OCTOBER. We are so going to get hammered this winter and I’m not prepared. Zoe’s school was canceled yesterday and today and her Halloween fall party is tomorrow, you know, the one I’m in charge of. I have yet to purchase one thing party related. Nothing. No cups, no napkins, no cupcakes. If they do have school tomorrow, I’m going to have to dig my truck out of the driveway and get to the store. Or just raid my pantry and take Smores goldfish crackers, Miller Lite and some leftover Santa napkins. I’m pretty sure that would ensure I would never be in charge of anything school related ever again.

Besides, what’s one more day? The kids are getting along swimmingly.

Obviously.

Wanna come to my house and trick or treat? Better drive your snowmobile and wear some warm boots.

P.S. This is my neighbor’s display at the end of their driveway. I would never be so motivated. My decorations include a jack-o-lantern that is rotten because we carved it last week.

P.P.S. I can’t even find my rotten jack-o-lantern because my front porch is buried in snow.

P.P.P.S Send candy.

You Capture-Autumn

It was your birthday yesterday. We’ve known each other since I was 22 and you were not in your twenties. Or thirties. I’m 33 now, so yeah, we be old. And be we, I mean you. Many years ago when we first met, I was a mouthy waitress and you were a jaded architect that was difficult to impress. (Not much has changed.) I would like to think we took our ill-begotten friendship to the hard streets of Oklahoma City to fight crime or help the homeless, but we mostly just drank a lot and ate smoked salmon with toast points and capers at Deep Fork Grill.

I remember sitting in your living room on your uncomfortable Eames sofa in your funky house on your funky street, possibly the coolest street in all of OKC, and learning about Frank Lloyd Wright and his houses and looking through books of the work of Edward Weston, who to this day is my favorite photographer. I was actually in photography school at the time and you were one of the few people that I felt comfortable showing my work. You were always kind and supportive, something I’m sure you didn’t know how much impacted me at the time.

After I left Oklahoma, we managed to stay in touch sporadically, phone calls here and there, an email or two a few times a year. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to view an Edward Weston original at the Denver Art Museum and as I stood in front of it, taking it in while griping the handlebar of the stroller that contained baby Zoe in diapers, I could only think of one person that would truly appreciate what I had just seen. When I called you a few days later to tell you all about it, I think you were just as excited as I was about that 8×10 black and white of a bell pepper.

A few years ago, shortly after my father’s death, you called me on my cell phone. I had missed a few calls from you, so I decided to go ahead and answer. I was at the indoor playground with Zoe (see Burger King) and it was noisy. I was just about to tell you to call me back when you mentioned that you had cancer. It was cancer that wasn’t backing down and was in a elevated stage. You had already had one surgery and they found it in your lymph nodes that they removed. I couldn’t believe it and told you to keep me posted.

And I never called you again.

My father had just passed away. From cancer. I hope you know that you were never far from my thoughts. I tried to email you once at your old job, but the email bounced back. I know it was chicken shit, I do. As I write this out now, I realize how terrible it is. I cannot offer any excuses, just the simple truth of the matter that I could not deal with you having cancer. For this, I will always be sorry.

When you requested to become my “friend” on Facebook this summer, I was surprised. A, you really aren’t the Facebook type and B, you really shouldn’t be speaking to me. I read all about your cancer struggles, surgeries, treatment, clinical trials and finally becoming cancer free and realized what you have gone through the last few years. And I cried. Cancer isn’t fair, but you kicked cancer’s ass.

Mr. Megee, a true rebel with a cause, I hope you had a fantastic birthday. I’m so very honored to call you a friend and grateful that you consider me one as well.

When I was growing up, my favorite television show was Three’s Company. In my eyes, there was absolutely nothing fancier than hanging out at the Reagle Beagle in your double ponytails. It all seemed very, very glamorous to a kid that lived on a farm. I don’t even think the town I grew up in had a bar, much less one with red leather banquettes and bowls of peanuts on the tables.

I remember in fourth grade being shuffled to the computer lab to take a career test. You answered a hour’s worth of questions about your likes and dislikes and then it would determine what job path was for you. Once we were done with the test, we had to come back after lunch for the results. We stood in the doorway and the dispersed our results. My classmates all had a few pages with the “jobs” they were qualified for. When my name was called, I went up to collect my dreams, what I was meant to do.

The instructor handed me one sheet of paper.

It read “FBI Agent“.

While doing important research for this blog post, you know, Googling “What does the inside of the Reagle Beagle look like?” and “Qualifications for the FBI”, I stumbled upon a career test site. I took it looking for answers and here are my results.

Personal Profile for ZDub

Temperament Type: Energetic, spontaneous, practical, friendly, sense of humor, helpful, realistic, tolerant.

Dominant intelligences: Linguistic, Intrapersonal, Interpersonal, Visual Spatial and Bodily Kinesthetic.

Dominant abilities: Art and Design, Written Language, Caring and Serving, Self Awareness, Physical and Proactivity.

Fields of Work: Art and design, Food preparation and serving and Media.

It’s good to know I’m living my life’s purpose.

Now if you will excuse me, I am off to get my cash on, to sling drinks and overpriced hamburgers. It may not be the FBI and the bar may not have red leather banquettes, but the people are pretty alright and the money is for real.

Besides, I really don’t think I’m FBI material.

Since Don’t Judge, Keep Sharing was such a success last week, let’s play again.

What did you want to be when you grew up*?

* I asked Zoe this question last night and she said, “I want to be a teacher and a waitress so I can be really rich!” Reach for the stars, baby girl, reach for the stars.

I am spreading parenting insight over at The Lil Bee’s place today. Melisa is having her first baby any day now and it’s a girl. So exciting!

Go on ovah and say hello!